A paper bracelet, a sling, a splint, a CAT scan, an EKG, X-rays, an IV, 3 bags of saline, 6 vile loss of blood, blood tests, pee tests, throat swab, sorry no partridge in a pear tree.
Spent Sunday in the ER. I blacked out yesterday - one of those if a tree falls in the forrest kind of things.. No one heard until I came to and pathetically warbled for help. I’ve got the biggest, nastiest goose egg bruise on my leg that starts mid thigh and extends almost to my knee. They could not find a break on my xrays but think I may have done some damage to an old break. Since this is the case I have a thumb splint and sling thing. The blackout was brought on by wacky blood pressure which was caused by dehydration. This all stemmed from the plague that is circulating in my house.
DH is on my shit list. He went to work today, leaving me with the kids… I have trouble wiping my own butt today how am I to change diapers? Just making juice cups this morning took 20 minutes of me chewing at the juice container like a rabid beaver. He said he’ll be home in an hour or 2. Hope the kids diapers hold till then!
Oh the cherry on top.. It’s my right hand and I’m , you guessed it, right handed. Yum
I am exercising. Even when I am firmly planted at home instead of on the treadmill at the YMCA, I am working out. I have scientific proof which can be found by clicking HERE I am including some of my favorite tidbits from the article since we all know you are a lazy ass. Nahnahnahnahbooboo
love,
Fidget
“The difference between being obese or lean may be due to how much a person
is apt to stand, pace, wriggle and shift about over the course of a day, a
team
of scientists reported in an intensive study of the consequences of
fidgeting. In the study, 20 volunteers 10 lean and 10 mildly obese were monitored
for 10 days in their homes as they went about
their normal daily routines. All
of the participants considered themselves
to be “couch potatoes.”
Each participant wore a special, high-tech
set of underwear,
Fresh undergarments were supplied each day.
Data from
the used underwear were
downloaded each day to a computer.
This is great, though I must say I don’t envy the job of the guy who has too
fish around in the used undies to collect the data… I love that they
mentioned fresh undies were supplied daily. I’m sure for some
participants fresh undies everyday was a stretch.
For you marrieds and unmarried women out there how do you react to an unexpected and unwanted invitation - to dinner, to bed etc?
In a bar I expect to be approached and my stock reply to skeezy and obviously trolling guys goes as such:
Them: So what’s your name?
Me: Married…..
Once I was approached in the hardware store. Keep in mind I was 7 months pregnant:
Him: So what are you doing later tonight?
Me: (gesturing to belly) I’m pregnant
Him: You’re not having it tonight are you?
Me: um no I’m eating dinner with my daughter and my incredibly handsome and strong husband
Him: well you know where I’ll be if you change your mind
I don’t mind flirting, it’s fun and a great ego booster. I am however turned off by guys just looking to get laid. So how do you respond?? Talk to me
I wish we had field trips like this when I was in school!
ATHENS (Reuters) - A bus driver shuttling pupils to school in northern
Greece shocked their parents when he put on a porn tape, officials said on
Thursday.
The incident on Tuesday in the town of Kilkis prompted dozens of
complaints by parents who have asked the bus company to fire him.
“The
driver said ‘kids we’ve got porn, do you want to watch it’,” one of the pupils
told reporters. “Everyone started shouting yes, yes and he just put in a tape
and we watched it on the small TV screens on the bus.”
The children were
aged 12 to 15.
The bus company will meet on Friday to decide what action to
take against the driver, local government officials said.
Pickles gave us lesson #1 on how Pickles became a stray. The Jeep had a flat ($^&%*&^*&%!!) there was a screw in the tire. DH filled the tire and went to get plugs. He came home and we all poured outside to hang around while he fixed it. Pickles was in the house (so we thought). Nay Pickles was not in the house, he was skulking around outside. We think he squeezed through the neighbors fence. When we called him - no Pickles. We search high and low, looking under beds, on beds, in closets… No Pickles. I started panicking.. DH takes the car for a spin around the block - he found the lil stinker on the next street over wandering in the middle of the road!! Perish the thought that my darling Pickles could have been mowed down in the doggie prime of his life.. Gasp and shudder he could have been dog napped and forced to beg at someone’s table with nary another dog or child in sight. I have become very attached to this little dog in a short amount of time. Guess what. I’m doing our taxes this weekend- the sooner we get the refund the sooner we put up a new fence.
Make a cyber you or what you want to be here
I swiped this from Cate & The Pink Kitty both of whom stole it from someone else. Ahh spreading the love like a disease.
Here I am
just imagine the brain sucker is a kid or a dog. Add some more tits and ass and bingo - got me.
These were such a hit tonight I thought I would post the recipe. I married 2 recipes that I found with some of my own ingenuity and these were born. I wish I had a digital camera as these came out damn pretty and taste fantastic:
1 teaspoon white sugar
1 (.25 ounce) package rapid rise yeast
1/2 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup butter
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, beaten
4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 c brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
4 TBSP butter, melted
1 c semi sweet mini chocolate chip morsels
In a large bowl mix 3 c flour with 1 tsp sugar, 3/4 tsp salt, and package of yeast. In a separate bowl mix butter, milk and water. Heat this in microwave for 20 to 30 seconds till warm (approx 110 degrees). Meanwhile using a wooden spoon, blend eggs into flour mixture. Beat in warm liquids and gradually add the last 1 c of flour. Knead the dough 3-5 minutes adding more flour if necessary. Knead until dough losses stickiness and form into a ball. Put dough in the bowl and cover with a cloth, set aside for 10 minutes. In a small bowl mix brown sugar and cinnamon. Once 10 minutes is up roll out dough onto a floured surface. Grease 2 9 inch glass pie plates. Brush surface of rolled out dough with 2 TBSP melted butter and sprinkle cinnamon mixture and chocolate chips all over, leaving 1/2 inch border around the edge. Starting at long side, tightly roll up, pinching seam to seal. Using dental floss, string or a knife cut the dough in 1 to 1 1/2 inch increments, placing each roll in prepared plates. Brush the tops of the rolls with remaining 2 TBSP of butter. Set aside and allow to rise for 30 minutes. Meanwhile preheat the oven to 375. After rising bake for 18-22 minutes (mine take about 19 minutes). Serve warm and gooey - OHHH so awesome. My guests were moaning with pleasure and begged to take some home. Enjoy and don’t count the calories- just enjoy.
We are having friends to dinner tonight. I am forced to clean the house, but I do get the delight of cooking. Tonight’s menu is:
Cheese enchiladas
black beans and rice
fiesta corn
and for dessert?
Homemade cinnamon buns with ooey gooey chocolate cinnamon filling
Heaven!
DH is driving down the road and sees a van that has “Honk if you want peanuts, i’ll pull over in a safe area” spray painted on the side…nuts, completely nuts.
Andrew Fischer, 20, of Omaha, who put his forehead for sale on eBay as advertising space, received $37,375 on Friday to advertise the snoring remedy, SnoreStop.
Fischer will display the SnoreStop logo on his forehead for one month
Just a few questions…
1) do you think the ink gives you pimples?
2) what kind of dumbass do you feel like everytime you look in the mirror? (my guess a richer one..)
3) Does it put a dent in your social life?
4) I wonder if he is a Snore Stop sucess story.. you would think they would want a walking billboard with some product experience…
5) would you ever do this??
