Walmart is like a rash around here in every form Sams, Walmart, Super, Walmart neighborhood market, etc. Well I’m in the neighborhood market happy as a pig in shit- organic milk is marked down to $2.58 a half gallon. Back to the point. I’m blissfully wheeling my screetchy rickety ass cart around when I spot a young boy with a wiiiiiiiiiide guilty grin and a rosey blush standing in the tooth care isle.

This kid looks to be 12 - TOPS. And if he is 12 he’s close to circus freak stature. There he stood in front of God, Sam Walton and me Crest Spin brushing his nads! His mom started walking towards him and he jumped about 10 feet, dropping both spinbrushes. He then way to loudly announced that he wanted a spin brush and put one back on the shelf. Someone is going to buy a spinbrush that was test driven on a preteen’s cod sack. His mom will be so proud at first… Little Jimmy is taking SUCH good care of his teeth! He’s in there with that spin brush 5 or 6 times a day. Then she’ll realize that the toothpaste isn’t getting used and that she is running low on hand lotion….