I purchased a Halloween costume today at Kmart. I however did not realize that 50% off meant 100% see through. I am going as an Angel and the Hubster is going as the Devil. One might argue that we got our costumes mixed up. The Hubster does not have the boobs or legs to carry off a see through angel costume though. I guess I need to go back out shopping for a pinky flesh toned thong. I DO have one but alas it has glow in the dark writing on it and has already caused me much embarrassment. Several years ago I used to work at one of the local theme parks. My first Mardi Gras there, I was a butterfly which consisted of a tye dyed skin tight cat suit with matching corset and chiffon wings. This was 2 kids, a knee injury and 40 lbs ago so it was quite stunning. The costume required that I wear thong underwear with the hip stings pulled up by my belly button so the corset would hide any bumps. Since I was working 7 days a week I went to Fredericks of Hollywood and grabbed a handful of thongs, not paying much attention. That night as we paraded past the mainstage with it’s strobing black lights I discovered, much to my chagrin, that my thong had DEVIL written all over it in glow in the dark paint… OOPS. Behind the scenes I got a lot of congratulations and hugs from the male members of the parade, including a stilt walker who informed me that you could see my panties glowing from a mile away…..

My family has evacuated powerless South Florida and invaded Central Florida. Yesterday I had the pleasure of blinking at my grandparents across my kitchen table for 2 hours while waiting for the water company to turn my water back on! Can you say embarrassing? Yes, had to have a brain fart about the bill coincide with family coming over. Then my parents showed up and I had to announce that if you need to pee you are out of luck. It took the water company 3 hours to turn the water back on once I realized I had forgotten to pay the bill - 3 HOURS despite the fact that the guy with the power to resume service was sitting in my neighborhood doing NOTHING - ARGHHHH. I had a wonderful 15 minute conversation with my 1/2 deaf granddad about how to spell the name of my town. It consisted of him asking me to spell it and then talking over me whenever I started to spell it, then my grandmother yelling at him for talking over me… Ah family (puke). Dozer tried to bite my Dad’s face off the night before at dinner because my father felt the need to go nose to nose and then GROWL at him.. U Dad.. Yeah Dozer isn’t just a 120lb wuss… He’s a guard dog.. Not the kind of dog you want to tussle or screw with. So when my Dad showed up yesterday Dozer tried to bite him in the ass as he walked buy. Luckily I was sitting right there and clocked Dozer in the head before he sunk his teeth in. Everyone sans my father found it hilarious. My mother particularly relished it as Dozer has taken quite a shying to her. My family could be here for weeks, this I don’t mind so much but now they are staying an hour away and expect me to drive over and visit them frequently.

Calling all computer gurus I need a new skin for this old blog of mine. If someone is interested in designing me a functional colorful skin that just screams THIS IS FIDGETS BLOG AND SHE ROCKS… You know not in so many words… Maybe we can work out some kind of barter deal. Please email me if you are interested fidgetblogs(at)gmail.com

I quite adore my face from this angle. There is no apparent freakishness, no long jutting jaw or alien sized eyes. Normal lovely ears and cheeks that other people pay plastic surgeons for. Happy HNT

(this may take some time to load, lots of pictures!)

Tessa turned 2 yesterday, I can not believe how big she is getting!
Sunday we had her party and despite the looming hurricane lots of family made it.
Here are her uncles testing out the hula hoop

The kids had a grand old time running around outside riding bikes, in little cars and shooting hoops.


Then it was cupcake time!

Tessa’s REALLY enjoyed hers, in fact it was more of a full body experience. After a quick wipe down

It was back to playtime

I think she enjoyed herself. Happy Birthday Tessa!!

Our power has been restored and we seem to be no worse from the hurricane. The big damage report thus far? Our orchid plant to a header off the shed, Troy’s on a recon mission to pick it up right now. My parents further south weren’t as lucky and will be heading to central Florida tomorrow to enjoy a lovely hotel with electricity. According to Mumsy Dearest lots of roof damage amongst their neighbors. Every tree and shrub that was once in the yard is now swimming in my parents pool as is part of the screen structure. My sister looked to green pastures to ride out the storm, heading to a friends house where they have a whole house generator - BURNED. While the generator is doing a great job for running the fridge and television, things like that don’t matter when the roof is 1/2 peeled off. The craziest part of this whole affair is how the hurricane seems to have drug in fall right behind it. I’m sitting here shivering in my fuzzy Pjs and amazed that the reported highs tomorrow will only be in the 60’s. Around here that’s practically arctic for this time of year.

Halloween is coming fast and i need help! I thought i could ignore Halloween this year but Sister-in-law is throwing a party, a costume party and i have no costume and no ideas! I dont want to spend an ass load as i still have to get Tessa a costume as well as my darling hubby. Mira will be wearing her fairy dress up costume. Thus far sis in law suggested i could dress up as a hooker but I dont feel like that’s entirly appropriate since i’ll have my lil goblins with me. the only costumy thing i have at my disposal is a pair of large feather wings - uber red.. but what the hell can i do with them?? bah! I need ideas people!

can you tell me what’s wrong with the above picture? Now I don’t mean stylistically or shadows or anything like that, I mean can you tell what’s wrong with my house? I guess it might help if I tell you where I was when I took the picture… SITTING ON MY TOILET. What sadist designs a house where you can see straight into a window from the street and see someone on the toilet? Honestly? Why would someone think this is a good idea? This window has been the source of much embarrassment
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Flashback to January 13, 2005
“You see this house has a VERY unfortunate flaw. You can see clear through DDs’ room into the bathroom and right at whomever is on the crapper. At about this time the neighbor was walking his dog Yukka when he caught sight of me. I am guessing he either thought I couldn’t see him or was just too dumbfounded to think. I waved and then grabbed the toothpaste tub, using it like a gogo gadget arm to flip the light switch off. He wandered off giggling and I don’t think I’ll ever walk to pick up the mail again. I really don’t want to have the “so did everything come out ok” conversation….”
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And once again I have been spotted by a neighbor. Today as I stepped from the shower, naked as a newborn and glistening with water droplet I realized SOMEONE (read bastard husband) had used my towel and left it soaking wet. I cracked open the bathroom door and stuck my arm into the linen closet to grab a towel. So far so good right? I pull the towel into the bathroom and as I’m unfolding it the bathroom door bursts open (courtsey of a kiddo) and there I stand, before the world, nude. Just my luck the neighbors are standing in front of my house chitty chatting. I’m sure they’ve got something juicy to talk about now as I noticed one of them pointing towards me as I fumbled to cover my shame.

Insomnia is sometimes a gift. I get a lot of cleaning, organizing and creating done. I used to enjoy scrubbing the floors at 1am, actually I still do. The problem is having children who are preprogrammed to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. So in this week of intensive cleaning, preparing for a birthday party, and now a hurricane too, I leave you with my HNT wish

It’s nothing racy or sexy or even very intriguing. Just a simple wish to curl up in bed and sleep. Happy HNT and I hope you have sweet dreams whenever you rest your head.

A nnoyed
B ecause
C atagory 5
D estruction
e minent
F amily in path
G oing to hit one of us
H appening this weekend
I nterrupting party plans
J ust what I need, right?
K inda pissing me off
L ooks like trouble
M om and Dad and Sis sitting at predicted point of Exit
N ick, my bro, sitting at point of entry
O verreacting, what I’m accused of doing
P erhaps…
Q uickly strengthened
R emember living without power for 7 days
S ucked
T essa’s party Sunday
U nless blown away we’ll have it anyways
V isitors escaping storm? Maybe
W ondering if anyone will still show up to the party
X ylophone, maybe Tessa will get one for a present
Y es, I’m baking cupcakes
Z ip, how much sleep I’m going to get between now and Sunday

Food allergies = bad
warning labels = good
“contains egg products” label on deviled and hard boiled eggs? …. STUPID.

Why waste the sticker? Does someone honestly believe that those deviled eggs are made out of a non egg product? Last I checked you can’t hard boil a Cadbury Creme Egg.