I’ve spent this resplendent day mainlining an airborne and reduced acid OJ tonic. I woke with razor blades in my throat, droning in a nasal voice and bursting into hacking fits so spastic they border on becoming a Broadway production. I laid listless in bed, rising to break up the petty insults that only a 2 year old and a 3.5 year old can trade so easily and to mix up more tonic. Last night was like being hit by bird shit- it could happen at anytime but you don’t expect it. After making plans with a friend I hung up the phone, the receiver was heavy in my hand. When I placed it on the counter, SPLAT, my eyes dropped to half mast and a green cloud of ass breath escaped my mouth. I was officially sick. Yes, it was that quick. Typically as a day passes to night you feel worse but I am feeling meh and eh, not bad. My brother played with the kids for an hour while I rested in bed and ate my way through a new book. I have refused to surrender my Pjs and have already announced my formal resignation as far as tonight’s dinner is concerned. I’m crawling back to bed and perhaps at some point I’ll peel my PJs from my body, bathe and return to the store for more Airborn (honestly this stuff is the schitnit).