Yes, it’s true. I had thought it was merely his sheltered upbringing but I think it’s safe to say that time my mother dropped him on his head.. yep ruined him for LIFE (really she did drop him on his head, in the supermarket no less with many many witnesses). The Hubster and I gathered up our kid kinfolk and went for CiCi’s pizza buffet, one of the few places where there is something we will all eat, no looong wait and no one even notices if one of the kids throw a temper tantrum. I’m happily shoveling spinach white cheese pizza in my face when my cellphone starts ring-a-linging. I see the caller ID and think “why the hell is he calling me now?”

” Hello “
” um, hey I was wondering if you are coming home soon “
” No, we’re eating…. Why, don’t you have work?”
” Yes, yes I do and I’m locked in my room “
(me choking, snorting and hoarking pizza)” You’re WHAT??”
“When Mira pulled the door closed she also locked me in” (ok the lock is backwards on his door but HELLO 19 year old can’t figure out how to A)pop the lock or B)climb out the window.

I tell him to climb out the window and go around to the front. I think this is enough but no… He DID manage to climb out the window after bending the screen (damn it) and get back into the house… But THEN when it came time to leave for work the dumbass couldn’t get out the front door. My brother, the simple minded idiot, pushed and pushed and pushed but could not get that door to budge. It was much like that Far Side comic where the gifted kid is pushing a door that says pull.. My front door opens inward… He CAME IN THAT VERY DOOR after climbing out the window.. It opened inward that time just like every other time. It took him over 15 minutes to figure out how to leave the house.. And get this, NOT by exiting the FRONT DOOR! He had to climb over piles of stuff in the unfinished portion of the house to exit through a side door. Somehow he figured out that the side door opened in. Sheesh, I have to teach this kid to be responsible with money and make good life decisions and he can’t even reliably operate a standard front door?