I’m sorry, I’m sorry (giggle, giggle.. beep) oh oh I’m sorry (giggle giggle) Lather, rinse repeat for 15 minutes. When we finally roll out the door $240 dollars poorer something just didn’t seem to add up. Sitting in the car I review the receipt and realize a glaring $145 omission. “This moral decision is up to you honey” I hand the Hubster the receipt and he of course opens his door, retrieves the item in question and battles the wind back into the store.

“Thanks for your honesty, that will be $155.36″

No good citizenship discount

We could have walked off with a very nice front door lock set for 5 dollars. The novice cashier only charged us the Rekeying fee that was written on the top not for the rekeying fee AND the brand new lock set. The Hubster and I both know that not paying for it would have resulted in years of ulcers. Every time we saw the front door, feeling a little panic in our souls.

In the car we discussed this.

“I had to return it” he says.” I still remember the time I found and open pack of gum on the floor and took it, for months I was convinced I had ruined someone else’s life because I chewed their damn gum”

“And now?”

“Now I still feel pretty crappy about it”

I closed my eyes and thought about the time I stole a ten cent ponytail holder. It still plagues me on the rare occasion I find myself shopping in that particular mall. The store is long gone and I know they weren’t taken down by my 10 cent 5th grade thievery but I still feel guilty. Years after swiping it I found it stashed someplace in my bedroom, the act of picking up felt like the burning hell fires. It went straight into the trash and I worried my parents would find out… 3 years after the fact.

This is not to say I never took anything without guilt. As a child I would be sent to peel a dollar from the wad in my Dad’s wallet for lunch money and on occasion I would pull out 2 or 3 instead. My 2 cookie limit was always discarded when left alone with the cookie jar. We had a strict laundry rule- any monies under $10 found in the laundry could be kept by the laundresses, I kept $20s and once a $50 bill. I never felt guilt for these acts commit against my parents, no, I felt justified. It mitigated those times when my mother bought my clothing at Kmart and I was tormented by the other kids in school. It lessened the blow of the insults my father would hurl at me “dumb ass” “moron” “fucking idiot” I felt like if he didn’t know I was doing this, then I must not be THAT stupid.

The differences between these situations are not vast, but in my mind there is a huge moral gap. Financially raping my family might bring the occasional pang of guilt but a ten cent pony tail holder made in Chine for a mega corporation, who’s masses of employees are nameless and faceless to me, brands me for life. This tiny moral deviation, in my mind, threatens to send me to the burning depths of hell.

Would you have returned to the store and paid for the lock set considering that you were under charged by $145 or would you have driven off without feeling a pang of remorse?