Mom simply stands for

M ean
O rnary
M asochist

Its one of those days when you roll out of bed screaming, matching the roar being emitted form your kids’ pre-dawn beds. The kind of day where you find yourself eyeballing the bottle of wine in your fridge before 8 am instead opting to eat a brownie that you don’t actually want but are convinced will make you feel better. And then in the pleasant sugar buzz that rushes around your body in 2.7 second due to consuming said brownie on an empty stomach, you decide it would be ok to give the kids yogurt. During your sugar crash, you weep while scrubbing yogurt off of the kids a little harder than you should and put the dog up on the table to Hoover up what is left of the yogurt that you are now blaming for your terrible rotten no good day. When the phone then rings at 9 am on the dot, you snarl into the receiver, hurling the phone at the wall when the person on the other end hangs up on you. Busting into tears you find yourself asking your 2 year old why someone wouldn’t want to talk to mommy, bellowing “I’m a NICE person, people LIKE me!”

It’s just after 10 am here, how is your day going?