A discussion a few weeks ago on my sweepstakes website had my stomach churning. The topic? Child molestation. It is something always lurking towards the forefront of my mind, as there are several offenders in my immediate area. Several as in 5, 5 that I know of. 5 that have been convicted. Considering that some statistic claim that at least 35% of childhood assaults go unreported and there seems to be no statistics for how many that are reported but charges are never filed, I know that lurking behind the windows of my neighbors houses there MUST be more than 5. The statistics that do exist are jaw dropping:

* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
* An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

More 20% of REPORTED cases are in children under the age of 8 and nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12. The same statistics show that children only lie about being molested 1/2 of a percent of the time, how many of you out there tried to tell someone and they ignored you, accused you of lying, or shamed you for blowing things out of proportion? That statistic alone tells me that we need to listen carefully to what our children are saying.

I currently have 2 girls, we are hoping for a family of 4, and we will probably have 4 girls. If I look at these statistics that means one of my girls is likely to fall victim. I have to wonder how accurate the statistics are. Is it really 1 in 3 or even 1 in 2. It would seem that boys would be less likely to report such activities simply because of the profound difference in how society encourages emotional openness in boys and girls. Perhaps they are not 1 in 6 but 1 in 4 or 1 in 3.

Personally the worst I experienced prior to age 18 was inappropriate touching by a stranger. It certainly would have elevated to a sexual assault had my friend’s father not discovered me pushed between the arcade machines with this creep on top of me. It happened in the middle of a busy evening at Grand Prix Race-o-rama, a go cart track and arcade ripe with children (many of whom were unsupervised).

What surprised me the most in the course of this discussion on my sweepstakes site, was the number of people who decided to speak up, ones who had never told a soul before. The poll that was run there showed that nearly 50% of the respondents HAD been the victim of childhood sexual assault, molestation or ongoing abuse. I was floored. It is with THAT statistic in mind that I present you with this poll. You can remain anonymous or elaborate in the comments. If you decide to write about it on your blog, please leave a link. I strongly feel that by facing the past we can learn HOW to protect our children.

Today is a day of up most importance. It is one that has changed the direction of not only blogging, art, and the culinary arts but the very core of humanity. No, I am not referring to National Potato Day in Peru. I am alluding to a day that has recently made the history books, an event that sent historians into a tizzy updating all their important information and text books:
May 30th according to Wikipedia

Births

* 1010 - Emperor Renzong of China (d. 1063)
* 1423 - Georg Purbach, German mathematician and astronomer (d. 1461)
* 1623 - John Egerton, 2nd Earl of Bridgewater, English politician (d. 1686)
* 1672 (O.S.) - Peter the Great, Tsar of Russia (d. 1725)
* 1718 - Wills Hill, 1st Marquess of Downshire, English politician (d. 1793)
* 1719 - Roger Newdigate, English politician (d. 1806)
* 1814 - Michael Bakunin, Russian anarchist (d. 1876)
* 1814 - Eugène Charles Catalan, Belgian mathematician (d. 1894)
* 1858 - Siegfried Alkan, German composer (d. 1941)
* 1879 - Colin Blythe, English cricketer (d. 1917)
* 1881 - Georg von Küchler, German field marshal (d. 1968)
* 1882 - Wyndham Halswelle, Scottish runner (d. 1915)
* 1895 - Maurice Tate, English cricketer (d. 1956)
* 1896 - Howard Hawks, American film director (d. 1977)
* 1899 - Irving Thalberg, American film producer (d. 1936)
* 1901 - Cornelia Otis Skinner, American writer and actress (d. 1979)
* 1902 - Stepin Fetchit, American dancer and actor (d. 1985)
* 1908 - Hannes Alfvén, Swedish physicist, Nobel Prize laureate (d. 1995)
* 1908 - Mel Blanc, American voice actor (d. 1989)
* 1909 - Benny Goodman, American clarinetist and bandleader (d. 1986)
* 1910 - Inge Meysel, German actress (d. 2004)
* 1912 - Julius Axelrod, American biochemist and Nobel laureate (d. 2004)
* 1912 - Erich Bagge, German physicist
* 1912 - Hugh Griffith, Welsh actor (d. 1980)
* 1918 - Guadalupe “Pita” Amor, Mexican poet (d. 2000)
* 1920 - Ralph Metcalfe, American athlete (d. 1978)
* 1920 - Franklin Schaffner, American film director (d. 1989)
* 1922 - Hal Clement, American writer (d. 2003)
* 1926 - Christine Jorgensen, activist (d. 1989)
* 1927 - Clint Walker, American actor
* 1928 - Agnès Varda, French director
* 1934 - Aleksei Leonov, cosmonaut
* 1936 - Keir Dullea, American actor
* 1939 - Michael J. Pollard, American actor
* 1943 - James Chaney, American civil rights activist (d. 1964)
* 1943 - Gale Sayers, American football player
* 1947 - Vashti Murphy McKenzie, bishop
* 1951 - Stephen Tobolowsky, American actor
* 1951 - Zdravko Čolić, Bosnian singer
* 1953 - Colm Meaney, Irish actor
* 1955 - Topper Headon, British musician (The Clash)
* 1958 - Marie Fredriksson, Swedish singer and songwriter (Roxette)
* 1964 - Wynonna Judd, American singer
* 1964 - Tom Morello, American musician (Audioslave, Rage Against The Machine)
* 1966 - Stephen Malkmus, American musician (Pavement)
* 1971 - Idina Menzel, American actress and singer
* 1972 - Manny Ramirez, Dominican Major League Baseball player
* 1973 - Leigh Francis, British comedian
* 1973 - Angela Teixeira, Portuguese Mum of two, good friend
* 1974 - Cee-Lo, American musician
* 1978 - Helio Alves, Friend of Pitagoras
* 1979 - Fidget, world renowned blogger and artist
* 1980 - Steven Gerrard, English footballer
* 1981 - Devendra Banhart, American singer and songwriter

Happy Birthday to me and though my mom’s present has not arrived yet, I think I an just greatful that she never did THIS to me, ever.

I spent 3 hours yesterday at the eye doctor. Having one’s eyes dilated and not being provided with cheesy blue blocker sunglasses is akin to torture. I took a picture with the glasses I picked so once the evil eye drops wore off I could be sure that I still liked them.

Ok, I’m outta here, T-minus 5 hours till party time

Thank you all for your comments about Mira’s cavity. She was very brave and handled the situation far better than I imagined. I had to hold her hands and pin her legs at one point because it hurt a tad but on the whole she was very cooperative and did not scream (whew). The dentist made me feel better about the cavity, pointing out that it’s location is highly unusual and probably was *not* caused by poor brushing habits (whew again). I’m glad things went as well as they did considering that this man will be prying out 2 of my wisdom teeth next month. I just don’t think it would be a good idea to piss off a guy who’s about to perform a surgical procedure on you. If he was vindictive enough one could wake up totally toothless or with one eyebrow shaved off.

In other news this is officially party weekend. Ah yes Memorial Day, otherwise known as Fidget’s Birthday Weekend. We’ll be tipping some brews to honor soldiers, but we’ll be doing so with a dozen of my friends and family. Viva Le Birthday. I’m all a’twitter, I haven’t had a birthday party for myself since I turned 18. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t make the blogrounds this weekend. Between the cleaning and food prep (yes, I’m doing it all myself) and then the actual party on Sunday, I SHOULD be doing SOMETHING other than puttering around on the computer. Which reminds me if any of ya’ll see me on AIM yell at me to get back to work (I’m ErinCreates on AIM).

Now the good part, food porn. Our menu (as currently planned) with be Chili-Lime chicken kabobs, beef hotdogs, burgers, black beans, summer squash casserole, fruit platter, veggie platter, Brie, hummus, salsa + tortilla chips, cracker assortment, cheese cake, triple berry cobbler, and of course booze. I’m going to be off my diet and plan to spend Monday with a bad food hang over. If I plan this just right my birthday will start Sunday and continue straight through to my actual birthday on Tuesday.

And here is a bit of gratuitous cuteness to help you make it through the weekend. One of my best friends is getting married and Mira is up for the job of flower girl. Today we went to the bridal shop to hunt for bridesmaids dresses (no I will NOT post those pictures). We had Mira try on a few dresses and then for good measure we dressed Tessa up too. Ok, now everyone at once AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Only 4 years into this mothering gig and I’m already falling down on the job. It seems that I have been too lax with my darling dears in the tooth brushing department. Mira already has a cavity, and it’s a big ‘un.

At first glance, praise was heaped upon Mira, swelling my motherly bosom with pride. Yes, I have had my child brushing since before she had teeth I thought, mentally patting myself on the back. As I rehearsed my “Mother Of The Universe” speech in my head the dentist suddenly made a clicking noise and an “Ut ohhhhhh” I snapped back to reality to see him cranking her tiny mouth open and poking at a black thing. A BLACK THING?? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! A cavity, one big and bad enough that it needs to be filled immediately. Today I shall pin my unsuspecting, sensory challenged, autistic child down while she is mouth tortured by a man wielding needles and a drill. I feel like the shittiest mom around, especially when I smile and say “The dentist is going to help you” and an evil mad scientist laugh echoes in my head “MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA if you only knew!” Ah well, there goes her love for the dentist.

We seem to be turning into a regular porn review around here at Finding Yourself. Posts about climaxing , golden showers and nudists are funneling all of Google’s dirty birdies our way and yet, here we go again right?

Toplessness is rampant in my household and I don’t know how much longer we can take it. Well, actually it wouldn’t bother me one whit if we all walked around without a stitch of clothing on (yea, less laundry). However, my more modest husband points out that our girls need to learn proper nudie etiquette and soon. I tend to agree that is moderately embarrassing when my daughter shuffles out of a public restroom with her pants around her ankles loudly demanding that I wipe her butt. And, it is equally embarrassing when she strips down where ever and when ever someone mentions the word bath. The issue I am struggling with is when to call it quits on topless romping. As it stands now I let her hang out in her undies around the house. Occasionally she wanders outside in nothing but her baby BVDs and this does not alarm me, but at 4 years old I have to wonder when it must end.

At what point do I nix the outdoor native look? Do I force her into wearing shirts all the time indoors at the same time we stop the neighborhood naked parade? How the hell do I do this without causing her to become overly body conscious? Do I wait for natural modesty to develop? She is my daughter so I worry it may never fully kick in. Seriously, I recently had to start buying pajamas because I felt I needed to start setting a non-nude example, especially now that she can exit her room and enter mine during the night. I am so nonchalant about household nudity I’ve even split a pizza with my husband and mother while I was topless (ok so I was a new nursing mom, my milk had just come in and the moving air, let alone the fabric of a shirt caused me to scream in agony). It should be fairly obvious to you dear readers with a past like that I need all the help I can get.

The Hubster and I just had a minor spat. Whenever he is annoyed about something he tries to be proactive and correct it. This sounds like a good idea in theory, but when “correcting” a problem is actually trying to assign it to me, it doesn’t go over so well.

Laundry is a huge sticking point in our home, we BOTH despise it. Today the Hubster tried to tell me that I should be running 1 to 2 loads a day (pausing for canned laughter). In addition to washing and drying, I should fold and immediately put away these two loads of laundry a day. This was all tipped off by his empty underwear drawer. I refrained form reminding him about how things went when laundry was soley HIS chore. I was on bed rest and could not reach into the washer or squat down to load and unload the dryer, the result? I HAD NO CLEAN UNDERWEAR. NONE, no really. And his argument was that I didn’t need them since I was on bed rest! Now this man HAS clean underwear, I just did not get around to folding them yesterday (one of my SELF assigned laundry days) because I had therapy in the evening. He was home with the kids and if *I* am expected to be able to juggle the kids and chores why couldn’t he pitch in and fold?

He then took the tack of labor division
“How is it fair that the outside of the house and the construction of the house are both 100% mine but then you expect the chores to be 50/50 and you expect me to always help out with the kids” Here is where I really chewed his ass. I pointed out that every time I offer to mow the lawn he tells me he would rather do it. He then interrupts with, but if you do the lawn then I have to watch the kids.. um duh? Who do you think is watching them while YOU mow it? Next he tries to complain about how the laundry is akin to drywalling and insulating the addition on the house. He was bewildered when I started laughing at him.

“Why is that funny? You know how much those jobs suck and you expect me to do them, they are like MY laundry. I hate them”

“In 6 months, Hubster, YOUR “laundry” will be over, mine won’t”

realizing he’s painted himself a corner, “You know what I mean”

“Are you suggesting that in 6 months we’ll become nudists and my laundry woes will be over?”

I’m chalking this one up to Man-PMS, typically my Hubster is incrediably patient and helpful. Though, if he doesn’t get over this fast he’s going to wind up washing, drying and folding his own skivvies.

Expect to hear arousing and yet embarrassing moans of ecstasy echoing across the land in the very near future- I mean ones that would make any porn star blush. My husband has decided that the object of all my Wet Dreams shall be gifted unto me. While it’s no Rabbit Pearl, it revs my engine just the same. Of course this is coming from the woman who gushed LIKE THIS. For those readers out there who are about to hyperventilate with joy or envy, you might want to check THIS out, it could help, really.

After being approached this weekend by a particularly creepy and persistent man** I felt the need to repost this from January of 05. Since I had all of 10 readers then (Ha, 10! More like 3) I didn’t think ya’ll would mind, especially considering it’s relevancy.

**Said creepy man approached me while I was out with my 4 year old. He stooped down and addressed her.
“You sure have a pretty mommy, I’ll be she’d like to have dinner with me some time”. Ummm, yeah (insert image of me vomiting copiously on said creepy man’s shoes)

In a bar I expect to be approached and my stock reply to skeezy and obviously trolling guys goes as such:

Them: So what’s your name?
Me: Married…..

Once I was approached in the hardware store. Keep in mind I was 7 months pregnant:

Him: So what are you doing later tonight?
Me: (gesturing to belly) I’m pregnant
Him: You’re not having it tonight are you?
Me: um no I’m eating dinner with my daughter and my incredibly handsome and strong husband
Him: well you know where I’ll be if you change your mind

I don’t mind flirting, it’s fun and a great ego booster. I am however turned off by guys just looking to get laid. So how do you respond to unwanted and particularly icky proposals? And if your children are present, how does that change your reaction?

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The accompanying photo for this post was found during a google image search. This then lead me to a kick ass artist’s website Seonna Hong, please visit her paintings HERE and prepare to be electrified.

And while you’re still electrofied, stroll on over to my renter. She’s right over there in my side bar, just click and quality reading appears!

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it’s been 2 weeks since my last confession. I have been guilty of cussing (a lot), corresponding with Satan, impure thoughts about my shirtless neighbors, and pimping myself like a two dollar hooker. I have left raw egg splattered at the bottom of my fridge because I didn’t break it and I don’t want to clean it (insert foot stomp punctuated with a pouty face)! I swept all the sand under my bed because I am too damn lazy to hunt for the dust pan and I turned my kids, sticky with popsicles, out into the sprinklers instead of giving them a proper scrubbing in the tub. I hope you all are nodding your heads along with me saying “Damn girl, that’s nothing” because I could use some juicy confessions this week. Of course I don’t know how many of you can say you spent your Friday perusing and purchasing vintage porn… Oh dear have I confessed too much?