Protecting The Children By Acknowledging The Past
A discussion a few weeks ago on my sweepstakes website had my stomach churning. The topic? Child molestation. It is something always lurking towards the forefront of my mind, as there are several offenders in my immediate area. Several as in 5, 5 that I know of. 5 that have been convicted. Considering that some statistic claim that at least 35% of childhood assaults go unreported and there seems to be no statistics for how many that are reported but charges are never filed, I know that lurking behind the windows of my neighbors houses there MUST be more than 5. The statistics that do exist are jaw dropping:
More 20% of REPORTED cases are in children under the age of 8 and nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12. The same statistics show that children only lie about being molested 1/2 of a percent of the time, how many of you out there tried to tell someone and they ignored you, accused you of lying, or shamed you for blowing things out of proportion? That statistic alone tells me that we need to listen carefully to what our children are saying.
I currently have 2 girls, we are hoping for a family of 4, and we will probably have 4 girls. If I look at these statistics that means one of my girls is likely to fall victim. I have to wonder how accurate the statistics are. Is it really 1 in 3 or even 1 in 2. It would seem that boys would be less likely to report such activities simply because of the profound difference in how society encourages emotional openness in boys and girls. Perhaps they are not 1 in 6 but 1 in 4 or 1 in 3.
Personally the worst I experienced prior to age 18 was inappropriate touching by a stranger. It certainly would have elevated to a sexual assault had my friend’s father not discovered me pushed between the arcade machines with this creep on top of me. It happened in the middle of a busy evening at Grand Prix Race-o-rama, a go cart track and arcade ripe with children (many of whom were unsupervised).
What surprised me the most in the course of this discussion on my sweepstakes site, was the number of people who decided to speak up, ones who had never told a soul before. The poll that was run there showed that nearly 50% of the respondents HAD been the victim of childhood sexual assault, molestation or ongoing abuse. I was floored. It is with THAT statistic in mind that I present you with this poll. You can remain anonymous or elaborate in the comments. If you decide to write about it on your blog, please leave a link. I strongly feel that by facing the past we can learn HOW to protect our children.
Filed in: molest molestation abuse childhood statistics
May 31st, 2006 at 5:04 pm
I talk openly about my experience and have found that it helps others who have gone through it. Why hide it? I did nothing wrong. It’s my father who should be ashamed. So, thanks Fidge…you gave me something to blog about today.
http://figgyoutloud.blogspot.com/
May 31st, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Sometimes, as in my case, molestation occurs at so young an age that you have no memeory to go by. But the scars that are left are enough to prove the truth. I am just glad my father was out of the picture by the time I turned 3! (And you better have a boy at some point)!
May 31st, 2006 at 8:03 pm
I remember hearing similar statistics when I was a first-year high-school student, and looking around at my female classmates and wondering who was/would be part of that statistic. I didn’t think it would be me.
May 31st, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Being the father of a 21 year old daughter and a 19 year old son, I can say that I did not give any person the chance to do this with my children. We have spoken of these issues, and they had a picture perfect childhood in this sense.
I would think, any parent who is actively communicative and involved with their child’s life will not endure the pain of this disease. Times are different than when we were children and my kids knew to approach either their mother or myself with any questions or concerns. It was not that I did not trust my kids, I just did not trust other adults.
Reach
May 31st, 2006 at 10:53 pm
What is scary to me is that my father was molested by his own grandmother and I did not even find out about this until very recently. It kind of blows your mind to find out that someone so close to you has had to gone through something like that and it goes to show that you never know about people. If you had asked me I would have never ever thought that about my father.
June 1st, 2006 at 5:41 am
Hmmm. I was molested as a child by my uncle. i don’t really remember it per say, but I KNOW it happened. My cousin, Sicko uncle was her step-dad, won’t give me details of what she remebers, but she said never to doubt myself, because it DID happen.
It’s soooo creepy. I have 2 boys and I am paranoid about them & who they are with 24/7. I hope and pray that like Reach up there I can protect them.
I think that being molested, abused in any sense completely changes who you are as a person. It alters your personality. So very sad really. I wonder who I would be if I hadn’t been abused?!?!
June 1st, 2006 at 5:35 pm
I am a long time lurker, and have only posted a few comments here or there.
I am saddened by the shear numbers. My sister and I were both molested by an uncle for many years growing up. It was not something I talked about at all… ever… until recently. I still feel a great deal of shame associated with it, even though I know it wasn’t my fault.
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:25 am
I noticed that there is no place for people who arent 100% sure that they were molested, but who have this underlying feeling that something did happen to them due to an uneasiness around father figure men.
I dont know if these people should be counted as an actual statistic, but I feel that there should be a category for people like this.