What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
A dear friend of mine has found her self in a dilly of a pickle. Ok, that is a gross understatement… She’s found herself facing a situation that no mother-to-be could have dreamed up during her most horrid and hormone induced nightmare. After 3 kids she imagined this 4th one would be a breeze (cue shocking music, dun dun duuuunnnnnn). Boy, was she ever wrong!
A new doctor has joined her OB practice, one who knows my friend all too well. Apparently they spent the weekends during her junior year of college studying anatomy.. Ahem.. very hot and heavy and naked anatomy. Her.husband.does.not.know. She’s mortified. She can’t chose who delivers her baby and, not suprisingly, isn’t to keen on spreading her legs for this guy again. Would you want an ex poking around your girly bits as a baby crowns? Should she say something to her current doctor? Should she tell her husband? Should she mention something to the new doctor (ex booty caller) in an effort to squelch the hinkiness when they inevitably meet up? What if she does’t tell her husband, the booty caller comes to deliver the baby, makes an off the cuff remark and BAM “Birthing Room Brawl” on the next Maury.
What would you do???
July 27th, 2006 at 5:43 am
I don’t know what Iw ould do, but if the doctor DID make a comment, then that’d be VERY unprofessional, and I doubt that he would.
She should probably be honest with her husband and then ask HIM what she should do.
July 27th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
I would change practices.
But I live in a place that has a ton of great doctors. I don’t know what size town she lives in.
July 27th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Oooo that is a crazy situation!!
I am very honest with my husband so I would tell him first! Then I don’t know… depends on the other guy…it would be weird though!
July 27th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
oh NO!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahah.. I think she should tell her current dr, and then schedule to be induced.
July 27th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Man, I don’t know. If I decided not to tell my husband, I would talk to my regular doctor and explain my reasons for not wanting Dr. Ex delivering my baby. Maybe there have been situations in the past where patients have specified that they didn’t want a specific doctor no matter what. I’m sure it’s happened. And that would save the hubby any potential jealousy or brawl.
But if I decided to tell my husband, I would be honest, tell him I married HIM and not Dr. Ex, and then we could both hope together that the labor happens at a time when Dr. Ex isn’t on call.
I personally would probably tell my husband, explain the situation completely, and be honest about the discomfort with Dr. Ex being there. Maybe my husband would have an idea I hadn’t thought of.
But that sucks much.
July 27th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
hmmm… the first thougth that occurred to me was that no matter what their past holds, he is now a professional and as such should handle this an professional matter. Being that this a dr/patient environment, I would think he would be able to put the past in the past and handle this in the appropriate manner. JMHO.
I do feel for your friend, though, and I think I would tell my hubby the situation and see what he has to say. if said friend does not want to approach hubby, them by all means bring it up with her Dr.
July 27th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
As a husband, I hope that my wife would tell me. And if you feel uncomfortable with the EX around, tell him that too. Honesty is the best policy.
July 27th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
If I were her - I’d TOTALLY talk to the nurse or office manager or SOMEONE and tell them descretely what the deal is. But damn as difficult as that talk will be - it’ll be much easier than a delivery room brawl!
July 27th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
Whether she tells her husband depends on her husband. I would tell my husband, no question. Would I have told my first husband? ABSO-F*&ING-LUTELY NOT. The fall-out would have been horrendous. And perhaps dangerous.
Me, I’d definitely talk to my doctor. Explain the situation. Say that if they couldn’t guarantee Dr. Old Lover not be present at the birth, I’d have to change practices. Not blackmail, just the facts. I’d bet they could make arrangements. It’s only one labour out of a gazillion they do every year.
July 27th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
HOly crap! That’s a conundrum and a half! But I would be open with the doctors without going into too much detail. Something like “I have some issues with Mr. X and would perfer that he’s NOT my doctor” or something along those lines.
Sheesh, sounds like a sitcom!
July 28th, 2006 at 3:35 am
You know, it would suck almost as much if he DIDN’T say anything to her…she’d be all freaking out and thinking, “GAWD, I’m so enormous and bloated, the dude doesn’t even recognize me!”
I do NOT envy her. Make sure you let us know what happens!
July 28th, 2006 at 9:09 am
Does her husband not even know that she’s had “boyfriends” before marrying him? I think personally it’s better to be honest, but she doesn’t really need to go into the details of the relationship. If she says a new doctor at the practise is an ex of hers (whether that’s quite the explanation or not) then what bloke would want an ex helping with a birth! Then they can either move to another doctor, or ask to not have him involved with birth. Sounds like it was MANY years ago. It’s always awkward seeing an ex, but the best thing she can do if she sees him is to make very little of the fact.
July 29th, 2006 at 4:25 am
OOH, that is a hard one, no pun intended. LOL
My husband would have a sh** fit. But since I only see a woman ob, there wasn’t an issue.
I would talk to my regular dr, it would seem there would be a conflict of interest? Although, when you are in the throws of pain of childbirth, you wouldn’t care who was in the room when you spread your legs.