For Future Reference
Please make a note:
Should you decide since the kids are holed up on the opposite side of the house with a movie blaring at Mach 5, that it would be safe to yell
“Holy Mother Fucker Of God! Where IS the god damn cumin?!?!”
it is not in fact safe, but rather the precise moment that your large white dog will push open the door between the front porch and kitchen. At the exact moment your pooch pushes open the door and you are busy cussing out your spice cabinet, a neighbor stands poised to ring your bell. She comes to inform you of the tent revival her church is holding, one that she now REALLY hopes you can attend. Obviously you will be unable to argue that your soul is well tended too.
That is all.
August 25th, 2006 at 2:36 am
That is a wonderful story. I wish you lived in my neighborhood, so my neighbors could take a break from talking about me, and talk about you for a while.
August 25th, 2006 at 3:46 am
Too funny!
August 25th, 2006 at 6:29 am
Nice. You should’ve said, “Yeah I’ll go to your &^$^&* revival if you can get your ass in here and help me find the ^%^%$^(*ing cumin! Bitch!”
I’m not a cusser. Thus the symbols. Still would’ve been a good comeback.
August 25th, 2006 at 11:47 am
Good times.
August 25th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
This is the parallel to my own personal experience: if your family is sick for a whole weekend, and the house is an unholy mess, and the kitchen is filthy, with crusty food and dirty dishes everywhere - THAT is the day the pest control guy will stop by to do the semi-annual pest prevention service.
August 25th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Oh. my. god. I’m going to pee my pants….
August 25th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
What was the problem? Did you use the name of cumin in vain?
August 26th, 2006 at 12:43 am
*snort* Funny shit, man.
August 26th, 2006 at 12:52 am
You’re not supposed to curse in front of kids…Shit!! Yet another reason why I should not breed.
August 26th, 2006 at 3:41 am
Ha! That is a completely surreal, wonderful story. I live for those moments of pure poetic injustice! I’ve been thinking about you, how are you feeling? My life has been insane (Lila’s first birthday party is tomorrow) so I haven’t been able to check in on all the blogging mama’s I care so much about lately!
August 26th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Oooh, they’ll be PLENTY of cumin where you’re going Missy!
(See you there!)
August 27th, 2006 at 5:14 am
What perfect timing!
August 27th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
Did you find the god damn cumin?