Pardon Me, But Have You Seen My Brain?
I locked myself out of the house today. Of course to accomplish this feat I also had to lock my purse (with my cell phone) in my car with the keys in the ignition and the car running. This task came on the heels of my deciding to keep Mira home today, as she is exhibiting ass eruptions that make me suspect she may have caught my stomach flu.
Being proactive and not in the mood to spend my entire day on the front porch with a sour stomached 4 year old, I knocked at the neighbors door… the neighbors who don’t speakie the English so well and I no habla de espanole so bueno. After some gesturing she lends me her phone and I proceed to call The Hubster 943 times, leaving two messages. During the second message a loud keen, not unlike a wild animal caught in a steel trap, emitted from my front porch. I sprinted over to discover that Tessa, who is now 30 minutes late for school, had her finger pinched / crushed in the screen door. The force of the door burst the tip of her finger open and it was bleeding heartily; the pad of her finger looked like it had run through a crimper and her finger nail was 10 different unnatural shades of pain.
There I sat in my driveway with Mira making loopy circles on her bike and Tessa curled in my lap, hysterical. Rocking to and fro I sang “You are my Sunshine” while Tessa snarled in response. The Hubster rolls up and of course he is not alone. A trainee must also be there to witness not only my stupidity but the finger carnage that happened while I was attempting to rectify the stupidity situation - chalk one up to lax parental supervision I suppose.
Now I sit, pondering what to do with a sick child, a child in pain, a mother on the edge and a new found fear of locking myself out. This is the first time I’ve locked myself out of the house, though the Hubster once locked us out on a cold and rainy night when I was bare foot and very pregnant with Tessa. Hasn’t this week just been the bees knees?
October 17th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Ack, poor Tessa! And poor you! Hope the finger has bounced back enough to resemble its former self by now. You gotta get one of those little keypads where you enter a code to open your door. We have one. It’s been in a drawer for a year, waiting for me to install it. During that time somebody in our family has been locked out at least once a month. Not fun.
October 17th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Getting locked out is the worst because it’s right there, you can see it, but you can’t get to it. Aargh!
October 17th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
You poor things! That is a day to clear from the record books. Hope tomorrow is better!
October 17th, 2006 at 6:46 pm
Is it wrong that I am laughing my arse off right now? With you, I am laughing with you. I can just picture it all in my head and the chuckle is because this is SO my life. Hope both baby girls are doing better. Oh and you too of course!
October 17th, 2006 at 6:47 pm
Oh and since I am wwwway up in the northwest and unfamiliar with this term…bees knees=not a good thing?
October 17th, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Oh, man. There are just some moments that I have to close my eyes and pretend that I don’t know who these kids are that keep following me arround. Hopefully not while I am driving.
Just think. It is only Tuesday, how much worse can it got?
October 17th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
Aw, sweetie. I think Karma has been on quite the rampage lately. You’re not the only blogger who appears to have caught her subjective attention. I’m seriously scraping the bottom of the barrel just to try to come up with something lighthearted and funny to post about on my site, because there’s just so much complaining one can do before getting sick of herself. I’m very close to that point.
October 18th, 2006 at 12:58 am
That freaking sucks.
I probably would have torn the head off the trainee just so that he would really have something to talk about when he got back to the office.
Hope all ends well…
October 18th, 2006 at 2:59 am
I have locked myself out too but luckily I had my cell with me. I hope that your week gets better!
October 18th, 2006 at 5:18 am
Oh my goodness, poor Tessa!! Mira too…those ass explosions are not fun at all! Hope they’re both on the mend now!
Here’s hoping tomorrow will be a better day!
October 18th, 2006 at 5:38 am
Since you were asking for baby names a couple of posts down, and now know you’re having a baby boy, here’s some that I like, to add for your consideration.
1. ANYIA (pronounced uh-nigh-uh…it’s my husband’s name, and I LOVE it.)
2. TRISTAN (the name I will use, along with hubby’s name for middle name, if I’m ever blessed with a baby boy.)
3. ORION (my nephew’s name..we call him ‘Rion for short)
4. MORGAN
5. ASHER (my cousin’s little boy’s name)
6. ANDY…not Andrew, just Andy
7. NATHAN
8. ANTHONY
9. BRYCE
10. TYSON
Hope you like some of these!
October 18th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Okay, just reading this was stressful. I know these days… these weeks… these months that seems (grrrr… ARE) completely unmanagable.
Here’s what I do when in a similar situation. I take that well intentioned good advice that my mama gave me as a small girl and I wad it up into a little ball and I shove it into a the nearest toilet and flush, flush, flush.
I QUIT!
I shut down.
I say, Guess, what. No one is going to have a bad time anymore today. Let’s fix up that finger and let’s figure out what we can do to make you feel better… because Mommy isn’t scrambling after one more thing, or breaking a sweat again, or going to feel her blood pressure rise today at all. Who feels like ice cream? (Maybe not in the case of stomache flu? But, you get the general drift.) It is these days that I pull the rabits from my hat and I have to take and extra step back not to become overwhelmed by it all…
I don’t know how you handle all of this stress… but I’ve never been very good at it. The big stress monster gets to me pretty easily. It’s days like these that I think you should call in a sitter and go upstairs all by yourself to read a book. Or, if you can, go get a pre-natal massage and a pedicure (I never did these things, but they always sounded really nice.)
On the bad days… be very, very, very kind to yourself.