Fart Filtering Faux Paux
In my quest for non medical options for easing my asthma, we purchased a Hepa filter for our bedroom. It’s run at night under the pretense that I will wake up refreshed. In it’s ceaseless quest to suck up poisonous dust and pollen laden air it also happily pulls in fart fumes. On the surface this is a great thing, my bedroom no longer smells like dog ass. However, the control panel light vexes me nightly (I like things as dark as possible) and I have discovered a flaw pertaining to it’s air filtering and freshening operations. You see, with the current unfinished state of my house I have little choice as to the positioning of my Hepa filter and thus am left with it on my night stand. My husband lays to the other side of me and beyond him is Dozer - 110 lbs of American Bulldog farting fury. Here’s a little illustration of how things look:
Note the queasy green of my face as all the rancid butt air is drawn away from the offending side of the room and directly in the path of my lungs. Until modifications are made to my bedroom set up the dog will no longer receive his meaty treaty things and there is a moratorium on chili dinners for The Hubster.
October 27th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Again it has been a pleasure reading your blog. You funny girl!
October 27th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
You are too funny!
Should we call that fart art?
October 27th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I want one of those for my dog and my husband’s ass…
Too bad they do not make portable ones!!! They could make a KILLING!!!
October 27th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
hehe
I love how the dog is smiling and how the fart passes right by da hubby.
I love your views on the world.
October 27th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Laughed so hard I peed myself.
October 27th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
You poor thing! Can’t you get an extension cord or something? Or maybe flip your sleeping position so that your feet get caught in the fart draft? Just thinking about it is making my gag reflex kick in!
October 28th, 2006 at 5:44 am
Oh, I love your silly little drawings.
October 28th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
That drawing made my day! LOL.
Love,
Mare
October 28th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
Nothing better than a funny story with illustrations. I have two farters myself.
October 29th, 2006 at 5:43 pm
Looks like you need to put the HEPA filter on HIS nightstand….
October 29th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
This is so true! Somehow our dog has radar farts. They cover only a small, very specific area and path, but wow, do they knock you out. At least my husband’s aren’t usually too bad, that is, unless he hoards them under the covers to release all at once when one of us does a big midnight rollover.
And 2 years of remodeling? Oh my, I thought my 4 months was bad! How are you surviving?
October 30th, 2006 at 12:35 am
OH MY GOSH! That’s hilarious!
Maybe you could slowly change your doggie’s food if it’s giving him gas that bad?