Screw Candy, Gimmie Bacon
Two days age 4 strips of mechanically separated turkey parts hit the frying pan. As it sizzled away on the stove, my children drifted into the kitchen like a roving pack of starving street children to a hotdog vender. Tongues lolled out of mouths, chocolate ABC cookies cascaded to the ground, and the clamoring began. “MMMM, MMMMM! That smells gooooood, me want some bacon pwease.” I tried my best to shoo them. It was the last 4 strips of turkey bacon and I had a huge hankering for quiche. Peep peep peeeeeeeeeeep, they persisted like ravenous nest bound baby birds. “Me so hungry!” Two sets of dinner plate sized orbs bored holes into me as I flipped the bacon over. I turned to once again shoo them when I saw tears glistening in their eyes - tears over BACON.
I did what any good self respecting pregnant mother with the craving from hell would do - I offered them candy.
“Nerds children,” shake shake shake “I have Nerds!”…. “No fank you Mama, I want bacon”…”Me too, bacon too!”
“But I have dum dums, and laffy taffy”
“Bacon pwease”
“Snickers children I have Snickers! Honest to god you can eat this entire bag of M&Ms! Reeses! Gum!! Kids, Mama NEVER lets you chew gum, would you like to have some gum??”
I pleaded, I cajoled, and in the end I conceded defeat. The victors collected their spoils- two strips a piece - and marched off, dashing my quiche dreams.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:36 am
Riyan used to be OBSESSED with bacon…or any pork product for that matter. Her first words were “I want my piggy meat!”.
How sweet of you to sacrifice your cravings for your babies. What a great mom!
November 9th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Awww! My kids go crazy for bacon too! Poor mama….
November 9th, 2006 at 8:44 pm
The things mommies have to do!!! There is no love like sacrificing a craving.
November 9th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
You are a good mother. I would have eaten the bacon myself.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
Motherhood, the sometimes thankless best job you’ll ever have. A can’t believe you desperate enough to offer GUM! That is a bacon craving.
November 10th, 2006 at 6:30 pm
i have to at least triple the amount of bacon in a recipe to satisfy my toupes. argh.
(as for my gluten-free cake, i make all the recipes myself. i’ve been working on a cookbook, but instead i’ll be launching a gluten-free recipe site hopefully on january 1st. but if you’ll email me, i’ll share some recipes. and i also have a gluten-free coffee cake recipe on my site, dated August 18, 2006)
November 12th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Bacon beats any other ingredient! I can have it for breakfast and then eat it in a burger for dinner. My husband finds my obsession strange, to which I reply, “At least it’s not McDonald’s!” Ha! Take that honey!
November 13th, 2006 at 1:57 am
That’s so cute! I don’t know if I could have given up my bacon, my cravings were insane. You are clearly an excellent mother.
Also, I am not pregnant right now yet I am suffering from a wicked bacon craving, thanks a LOT!