The Mystery Of Genetics
Do you ever look at one of your children and think “where did you come from,” refusing to believe that either you or the man you love could have produced such an interesting specimen of a person. You swear up and down that you never colored on walls, dumped your mother’s files, or drop kicked dog poo while wearing flip flops. Yes you read that last one right. Saturday, I caught Tessa in the back yard stomping and drop kicking softball sized dog turds, fresh ones.
Mid-stomp I hollered “Freeze!” and in slow motion her foot dropped, plop, into doggie soft serve. “Tessa come here!” As she neared I started gagging, it was clear that was not her first dance in the poo patch. Her toes were caked, her pants- correction her sister’s pants that she decided to wear without asking- were dookie dirty, her sister was screaming and having a justifiable conniption fit facing her feces spattered pink pants, and Tessa’s hands.. oh her tiny baby hands were brown with darker half moons of poo crusted under her petite nails.
I scrubbed that child with Dr Bronner’s peppermint soap, praying the entire time that the poop had not found it’s way into her mouth. I also pondered…. where had this little heathen child come from. Sure I had my moments as a child and The Hubster had a few infamous moments of hammering batteries and bleach drinking, but lord oh lordy - where did this little blessing come from?
November 26th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
I stop by often but comment rarely. THIS however, is too spectacular! I was laughing so loud my boys came to ask what was going on.
They think it’s pretty funny too.
Blessings and luck with this one!
November 26th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
OMG, that’s so funny. I had to read several of your unfortunate incidences to my husband. This makes me even more happy that we have no children. I’d be a nervous wreck.
November 26th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
Ewww, just ewwww! That is a new one for the record books. With five kids I have never had a poop kicking incident. Good Luck with that little one.
November 27th, 2006 at 1:44 am
Apparently I “painted” the walls in my room with my poop. I know exactly what I”m going to have to face!
November 27th, 2006 at 1:48 am
I am laughing so hard and yet I am horribly grossed out. I am so glad that it was you and not me having to deal with that. I have already had to deal with two puking incidents today.
November 27th, 2006 at 3:19 am
Do you think you could pay anyone enough to do this kind of job!
Best wishes
http://whitterer-autism.blogspot.com
November 27th, 2006 at 6:50 am
My sis would die if she new I was telling this story! But here goes, when she was about 2 she loved to dig in the garbage and to go with this passion she loved these chocolate macaroon cookies. So one day my Dad threw these cookies out and later turned around to find my sis digging in the garbage for them fine the 1st time right, on about the 3rd time she had a handful of NOT the cookies but her poop and it had made it to her mouth! She has never lived it down. When my 10mth old became a grabage picker we got rid of any can in sight LOL, my kid ain’t eatin NO POOP!
Kids gotta love em
November 27th, 2006 at 1:07 pm
That is one of most disgusting stories! How did you keep from losing your lunch cleaning that up?
Diaper Bag
Diva
November 28th, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Oy.
Reminds me of when my little brother — genetics, you said? — ate his doo. I was seven, and all I could do was laugh, which just made my mother angry that I didn’t try to stop him.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
I think I just threw up a little. When I was little I painted my street sign with doggy doodoo. Fun times.