Over the last few days I have noticed that my pants are creeping down more and more. At first I figured it was due to the phenomenon known as sucky maternity pants but today has proven it to be something else.

Not long after I got my positive test, my stomach fell out. There was no hiding that something was up and anything touching my belly sent me into whiny fits of rage accompanied by copious puking. Target provided me with just what I needed. I found yoga shorts with a V shaped dipped front that did not touch my tummy at all- heaven, pure heaven. So wondrous were these pants that I went back and bought 3 more pairs. They have become a staple of my wardrobe, providing me with comfort and a dependable fit… until today.

Once or twice a week (depending on my cravings) I head to one of the local natural food stores to grab some gluten free bread. Since this particular one is located at the mall I decided to take care of a few other things. After walking through a few stores my back was killing me. In a bold and totally cheapskate move, I cut through Bed Bath and Beyond to have a sit in one of the HoMedics Shiatsu Massage Pads that they have on display. 15 glorious minutes later, the staff was giving me the stink eye and I decided to browse around a bit.

I gather up my purchases and struggled to a standing position… my pants however did not want to leave the comfort of the massage pad and tried to make a break for it. A cool breeze caressed the top of my butt cheeks causing me to quickly drop my packages and grabbed my shorts just before they could make the full plunge ankleward.

When I got home I pulled out several pairs of pants that were perfectly wonderful last week to compare. The findings were shocking. My ass cheeks are moving in a northernly migratory pattern resulting in butt loss. I can only assume the gravitational pull of my massive belly is too much for my bottom to battle. If this trend continues I may be sitting on hinges by the time I deliver this kid.