No, I am not referring to wine, despite it’s smooth taste and mind soothing abilities. I am referring to a little mentioned and completely under-appreciated substance that has made my life, the life of millions of women and even the lives of some men and children more comfortable.

I knew I had to come shout it from the rooftops when I caught myself caressing the bottle and murmuring lovingly. I read it’s label over and over as though it contains some sort of biblical revelation; I swear it brings me closer to God.

When it works, I weep with unbridled joy, when it doesn’t I’m left wondering where my singing angels and golden gates have gone…

Stool Softeners, how do I love thee?

In many more ways and details then I should account for in a public space.. Just know you have a special place nestled in my heart and medicine chest.