Weekend Confessional
Gather ’round ye bloggosphere, it’s that time again. Step up, unburden your soul and seek to reap the rewards of bringing a good laugh to others.
Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it has been several weeks since my last confession. This week has been fraught with mucus. It has packed my sinuses, squirted from my eyeballs and dripped from my ears.
Today as I lay in bed with my tiny nursling, a sneeze most gigantic wracked my body. A fountain of clear snort rocketed from my nostril straight into the air. From my perspective it seemed to tickle the ceiling before descending back to earth with a sickening SPLAT. Plastered across my face it was, my friends. I could think of nothing but removing it from my eyebrows. My hand sought out the first thing I could find, it happened to be a nicely folded undershirt, and I mopped that magic nose goblin clean off. My nursling began to clamor for more teat, quickly all was forgotten.
Later The Hubster grabbed up said shirt and exclaimed “What the *****?” (I had to spare you dear reader, for it was a word most foul, one I’m sure will be repeated as my nursling’s first word because that is precisely my luck.)
Here dear reader is where I veer from the path of righteousness.
“EEEWWW that looks like a dog goober to me, darling dear Hubster of mine”
The dog looked at me with his soft brown eyes as if to say “What the ****?” Well, at least we know where the dog is getting his foul language from.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:21 am
I’m sorry but I’m laughing so hard tears are falling..
I ALWAYS blame the dog (or cats..but they seem to get back at me one way or another).
May 25th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
That is disgusting.
I don’t need to tell you that, do I?
May 25th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Gee, does your dog fart too? Boy, ours does!!
May 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Rather than commenting on your mucous, my dear Fidget, I’m going to tell you a little something that happened to me today.
Well, actually, it started yesterday when I visited a local TJ Max to do a little therapy. I found a fantastic shirt. It’s cut like a baby doll dress… and someone else might just wear it as a dress… but being 5′11 it wouldn’t cover my panties and no one really needs to see my upper thighs but my husband… who loves me.
It’s a great shirt, brown with a funky color and a retro pattern.
I put it on and felt like five million bucks and a hot mama.
Yeh.
Then, I took the girls out to lunch while wearing this shirt. The waitress said, “You have twins and you’re expecting another. That’s brave.”
I corrected her on all accounts.
Then, I dropped Bunny off at music class and her teacher said, “Bunny, I didn’t know you were having a new brother or sister soon.”
Neither did Bunny. Neither did I.
When I was pregnant… no one noticed.
This is a bad, bad sign.
May 26th, 2007 at 12:08 am
yeah just wait until you do the same thing with something you cough up. Oh yeah snot is great
May 26th, 2007 at 12:17 am
I’ve been the victim of projectile sneezing from the kids, but never had the pleasure (?) myself. Congratulations on quick thinking, even when sick.
and now, I have to figure out how I’m going to answer “what’s so funny?”
May 26th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I stumbled across your blog and am so glad I did - I haven’t laughed so in many a day. Thanks! I’ll keep you bookmarked!
May 27th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
A sneeze of that proportion would have had me running to change my underwear. Doesn’t that make you feel better? lol
Your ‘lil baby is precious
May 27th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
izzy, I would have peed myself had I been standing up LMAO
May 29th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Your post had me laughing so hard my husband came in the room to see what was going on. Of course, now he knows the secret of blaming the poor dog.
Anyway, I found your post and thought I’d reach out to say hello and ask if you’d like to receive a free Maya & Miguel DVD. If you’d like to receive the DVD just email me at Kerri at boldmouth.com with your address and I’ll have it shipped it out to you.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with Maya & Miguel, a show on PBS in the afternoons — http://pbskidsgo.org/mayaandmiguel — that emphasizes cultural diversity and language learning but I’m reaching out to talk to parents about the program as part of a marketing project I’m working on with Scholastic.
If you do choose to blog about Maya & Miguel show or episodes on the DVD, please make it clear how you received the information. Our goal is to be open and honest with everyone we reach.
Kerri Roberts, BoldMouth