Crack Cheese Withdrawals
Mira tattled on her Aunt. Her Aunt is annoyed that my daughter shows such passion for rules. I think that she thinks that I have Mira brain washed. If only that were true. Believe me, I have worked long and hard to try and teach Mira some amount of flexibility, though on occasion her ridged perception of right and wrong has been a bit of a blessing.
A few weeks ago, we attended a family function where there was lots of food. Most family functions are brimming with food. If you mouth is full of food, it’s harder to put your foot in there. These functions are particularly challenging now that the girls are gluten free. There is so much that looks wonderful and right within reach, that I find myself having to patrol the food areas. I thought that if I just watched where the food generally is, that things would be well under control, especially in the presence of family. I was wrong.
Apparently, the girls Aunt has taken a position of indignation over their gluten free status. She feels that kids should be free to gorge themselves on what ever they please and should not worry about food. She believes that overall kids will make the right dietary choices. While this is not a bad position to take so long as you have educated your kids about proper nutrition and modeled good food relationships, it’s very apparent that she does not understand the dynamics of food allergies and how your body craves fiercest what it is most allergic to.
So righteous is her anger over the situation, that she could not even bear to speak to me. Every room I entered, she fled with not a word. I knew something was going on, but did not know what until Mira tattled,
“Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Auntie G is going to make me eat gluten!! I don’t want to, it might make me sick!”
*blink* What? Your Aunt that you love and admire is threatening to make you eat food that I have removed you from in an attempt to determine if it is causing your body harm?
I went and had a talk with The Hubster, who brushed it off as a joke. later I spied my girls eating COOKIES. Not being one for ruining other peoples parties, I swallowed the hard angry lump in my throat. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I seethed. I was especially seething 20 minutes later when Tessa’s body reacted to the cookies with copious amount of diarrhea.
It is quite apparent to me that Tessa has inherited my gluten issues. It is also quite apparent to me that certain family members think that I am either making up these issues or wholly blowing them out of proportion. Additionally, it is now apparent to me who I can trust to honor my decisions as a parent.
All that being said, I now know why my husband has been pressuring me to remove the girls from their gluten free diet to “see what happens.” This has been the prevailing attitude for the last month until he caught a few moments of Jenny McCarthy talking about how the GFCF diet has dramatically improved her son’s quality of life and reduced his symptoms of autism. That little blurb, a moment where he could see it’s not just me reading some crack pot journals, seems to have drastically changed his stance of things. That night he turned to me and said;
“Maybe we should give this GFCF thing a real try, see what happens with the girls”
After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I told him I would start researching things. The Hubsters biggest worry about this now, is the prohibitive cost of alternative eating products. Our grocery bill already jumped when I removed gluten but now casein too? I worry about how his family will receive the news of even bigger dietary restrictions; will we have to bow out of future gatherings, knowing that they are hellbent on undermining us? My biggest worry, though, is that cheese, much like crack rock, is highly addictive. I wonder if the withdrawals are as bad…
September 24th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
That gluten stuff isn’t to be messed around with! A friend of ours was literally, near to serious medical horrible badness when that problem was finally diagnosed. I feel bad because there is such a small part of the grocery store with gluten-free products, that labels on all foods must be read with diligence and that the same stuff is so much more expensive.
Makes me bitch less we’re all normal diet people at our house. I hope you figure things out!!!
September 24th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Aww, good for Mira. I’m sorry your family is undermining your efforts to do right by your kiddos’ diet, especially since this is truly an issue of health and safety!
Going casein-free may not be as hard as it sounds, possible addictive properties of cheese notwithstanding. Do keep in mind that most cheese substitutes (in addition to being wildly expensive) still contain casein. There are very few worthwhile truly dairy-free cheeses out there, and I say this as a vegan. I know you’re not eliminating all animal products, but a search for “gluten-free vegan” should turn up lots of food suggestions. Good luck!
September 24th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Hey Fidget,
I saw an interview with Jenny - I gather it took some strength on her part to come forward with all of this. I bet she’d be pleased to hear some positive feedback from you!
Stick to your guns, girl! You worked hard and went thru so much to bring those lovely children into this world - keep it up!
Suzanne
September 25th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Who knew you’d have to pay so much to get foods without all that crap added to them? Seems backwards to me. If you’re ever out in LA, we can have a GFCF picnic picked up from a restaurant that specializes in it that is actually within 10 miles of where we’re at. Ahh, the benefits of the biggest cities… Good luck with the healthier habits. Someday the rest of the world will catch up to your wisdom!
September 26th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I feel for you… some of our relatives thought I was either crazy, over-indulgent, or just plain depriving my kids when I put our 9-year-old on a GFCF diet four years ago (that’s when he was diagnosed with a mild form of Autism). Our oldest, who is about to turn 14 — had a wheat allergy as a little kid and is reacting to wheat once again, this time with horrible, horrible eczema. It was much easier to take her off gluten when she was little, though. Now, she fights it and sneaks “regular” food as often as she can, even though she wants to claw her skin off withing a few hours of eating whatever it was that had wheat in it. I made GFCF brownies the other night, and she ate a bunch of them before asking me if they were GFCF — she couldn’t tell.
We’ve had great success with the GFCF diet. I’d be happy to chat if you want! Just drop me a line.
Wishing you strength to deal with the extended family….
September 26th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
So, your husband won’t listen to you, but when a former Playboy model says so, he’s all ears…..
hee hee!
That must be really tough. I hope your family sees now that after eating the cookies made your daughter sick, you aren’t just trying to ruin their fun.
September 27th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Oh, I can totally relate to this. When I suspected my son had a milk allergy, I caught my SIL trying to feed him ice cream. The poor baby had a rash all around his lips. What does it take to convince people that YOU know what your child should/shouldn’t eat?!?
Even now, after a confirmed medical diagnosis and several clear reactions, I still feel that people think I’m “over-reacting.”
October 1st, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Hi, there! I just read Jenny McCarthy’s book and I totally agree with everyone else. Who cares what other people think? I bet there are some great message boards and groups to help you in your support with a casein-free diet.
Good luck! Keep us posted — I’ll keep reading if you keep writing…
~Maria
http://michigal.blogspot.com/