With all this talk about trying out the GFCF diet, I thought it would be a good idea to speak with Tessa’s doctor first. I mentioned how removing gluten from her diet has yielded some positive changes but that she still has the perpetual “allergy shiners”. I noted that there is an obvious connection between the seasons and extra snot, but I felt like there was still some other underlying issues that seems to fill in the spaces between seasons. Looking at her chart, she had documented several indicators of allergies through out the year and agreed that we should run a blood panel to test for some more common allergens. Blood panel, from a not-quite-4-year-old. A blood panel from a not-quite-four-year-old who’s mom is apt to swoon with a case of the vapors anytime she catches sight of a needle. Yeah, such fun.

Nurse Heather came into the room bearing a handful of pointy things and tubes. My knees started knocking and weakening. Dr C could see me coming unglued and offered to hold Levi. I handed him over and stood next to Tessa, clutching her hand. I did my best to explain what was about to occur in a light cheerful voice, while simultaneously suppressing the urge to scream and vomit from fear. I started having flashbacks to the gory scene in the hospital when Mira was 3 months old and they kept botching her blood draw; the phlebotomy lab looked like the scene of a gruesome Lizzy Borden style attack.

The familiar signs of panic attack started bubbling to the surface. My hearing went dull, a wet hot flush crept up my body and my sight grew tunnel-like and dim. My eyes rolled over towards Tessa who simply said, “ouch” and then watched with gross fascination as her blood looped through a twisting straw, puddling in a collection tube.

She’s nearly 4 and she didn’t scream. She’s nearly 4 and she didn’t cry. She’s nearly 4 and she’s the bravest girl I know. Obviously, she’s gets this from her father.

Hopefully we’ll hear something by Wednesday of next week and double hopefully they won’t need more blood because even though Tessa can handle it, mommy might just pass out.