Dear Santa

I have to say I was a bit miffed when we realized you forgot to leave batteries for darling daughter’s Toddler Tabitha doll, now I see that it was not stupidity or forgetfulness but an act of mercy.

Christmas Day I went out to purchase 750 gallons of cranberry juice and picked up batteries so Mira would stop lamenting Tabitha’s non talking/eating/growing state. Since popping in the double A’s and 9volt, all I can think about is burying Tabitha in the back yard.

For starters she talks A LOT. It’s sort of cute that she asks you questions but Tabitha is half deaf so the children are forced to screech at a decibel unholy to my ears to have Tabitha respond appropriately. She is one bossy baby too. I want food, I’m tired, whine whine whine. I have enough whining in my life! It’s so bad we’ve tried enforcing that Tabitha is a “in your room only” toy. We’re still working on that one.

The upside is that Mira is in robot love. She drags her everywhere by her lovely vanilla hair, shrieking Twinkle Twinkle Little Star right along with Tabitha. I wonder if she’ll still love her after I pry out her batteries and pack her speaker cavity with old spaghetti.