The Not So Glamorous Side
It’s hard to believe that it was only 2 months ago that we welcomed Bo to the world. In that time I’ve dealt with some tough issues like colic, reflux, and learning to juggle 4 children. What I haven’t much talked about is how over the last 2 months I’ve struggled not to lose my mind.
It’s not PPD (postpartum depression); I had that after Mira and it was BAD but much different then this. What I’m battling now is a total body flip out. You male readers out there may want to avert your eyes and click elsewhere. I’m about to talk about my girl parts in detail.
no.. really.. guys, I’m warning you. After this it’s a bunch of vag talk.
considered yourself warned.
Some of you out there may not know this but I have a vagina. It’s a good one. She’s generally low maintenance and works hard for me. Lately, though, she’s been more trouble then a fox in the hen house.
Let me break it down for those of you who have never had a baby. After said baby is expelled from your body, you bleed. It’s called lochia and it’s like having your period for a month. You don’t just bleed, you crash hormonally and act a bit weepy and / or whacked out. It’s totally normal and expected. So expected that while it was happening to me this time, I would sob to The Hubster “I’m so sorry, my hormones are just crashing hard today*snort, gurgle, sniffle*” And, just as expected, it ended right around 3.5 weeks. What was not expected was starting to bleed again about a week later with full on raging menstrual symptoms. It lasted five days and I just figured the bitch was back already- not unusual for me. I’m just lucky that way. But, 2 days after she left town, I bled again… then stopped.. then again.. then stopped.. then again… and now I’m bleeding along with raging raging menstrual symptoms again. I’ve bled 13 of the last 18 days and juggled random PMS attacks. The bleeding is disconcerting enough, but the random PMS is hard. Let’s take tonight for example
I am a total irrational raging bitch. I just burst into tears because the Hubster had the audacity to put celery and garlic in my food.
I lost all good sense and just yelled at him. I am not ready to add new food today and celery is gassy (not even to mention garlic- holy hell, garlic is evil for reflux sufferers) and I in my impulsive and irrational state felt like he was trying to make me have a bad day tomorrow (which he’s totally not). To try and stem the flow of foamy mouthed hate being spewed at him, he washed the veggies clean of the garlic and started picking the celery out. To return this kind gesture which made me feel like a raging steaming pile of poo, I screamed about how fat I felt, ripped off my underwear which were squeezing my guts out, screamed about bleeding, threw my underwear at his head, ran to the bathroom, slammed the door (causing Bo to wake up) and cried some more.
Welcome to paradise folks.
My body is freaking out. I’m only 3 lbs over my pre Bo pregnancy weight but I’m so bloated I cant even pretend to squeeze into my pre Bo pants. I dont know what the frick is wrong with me but I need it to stop. I cant live life on the verge of flipping the fuck out every single day. As it is right now,I will go from fine to daemon without warning and over something ridiculous. I just don’t want to live this way. I’m beginning to suspect that this may all have something to do with those progesterone shots I got at during the third trimester. Ive never recovered this poorly before (body wise). Heck, even when I had more stitches then cooch after Mira’s birth, I was not this messed up.
When I Dr Googled my symptoms, I found out this could all be attributed to what they call a sixth-week bleed and if that is the case then I should only have to cope with this for one more week. Let’s all hope for the sake of my poor poor husband that this passes quickly. Speaking of my poor poor husband, I think i may owe him big time for enduring these episodes… like BIG TIME. If we’re not careful you’ll be reading about #5 on the way soon and I have to say that my vagina is far to tired to cope with that right now.
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Hugs to you, Erin. Hormones + physical exhaustion = nothing good. Just hang on!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Have I mentioned lately how much I enjoy your blog? Hang in, hang in…
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July 23rd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
****BIG HUGS****** As funny as this post was, and it was - I feel so bad for you Fig… That crap really sucks - I will be saying extra prayers for you and for hubster! You have a great guy and he knows how much you have to do with 4 kids - he is up to the challenge or he would not rewash your food!! He loves ya and knows that this is really not you!
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July 24th, 2008 at 12:14 am
A few weeks after having my son I felt the same way. I was a raging bitch. It was the first and last time I punched my husband. I mean I full on clinch fist HIT him hard, on top of that I was screaming and crying and just plain losing it. He held me, tight. He never yelled, hit back, nothing, he just held me. You and the hubster will make it through this, he sounds very understanding.
Don’t forget to do a daily walk, it really helps the moods. Even if you have to crawl with cramps do something active. (Quit rolling your eyes at me Fidget, you know it will be good for you!).
July 24th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
I had the same bleeding thing happen to me. I went to my midwife at 8 wks postpartum for the bleeding and eventually (after a prescription, passing of tissue, a vag ultrasound and a terrible middle of the night ER visit) discovered that I had retained placental tissue. My placenta came out intact at the birth, but I had an extra little lobe that stayed inside that no one knew about. I had previously been told that I wouldn’t be making milk if that were the case (not true!) and that it was probably my period (wasn’t). I ended up being fine because of a stellar midwife and some damn good luck, but it’s a potentially extremely serious condition (hemorrhage or infection). I’m not trying to freak you out - you’re probably just fine, but my only symptom was almost exactly the same off-and-on bleeding pattern just like yours. I encourage you to follow your gut on what to do next. The only way to tell for sure is a vaginal ultrasound.
With my second son my bleeding tapered normally and ended after 3.5 weeks. The first time I didn’t have anything to compare to, so I thought it might be normal, but it wasn’t and I’m so glad I went to get it checked out. Good luck, and I really hope I’m not making you panic - it just sounds so similar to my experience I thought I really should say something. Good luck!
July 25th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I learn so much from your “mom” experience! Thanks for posting…..
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