We’ve been doing the potty training thing with Levi lately. I’m not one to push potty training but his daily meltdowns over flaming baboon chafe were getting kind of tiresome so I started bribing him with jellybeans.
Here son, you poop in the potty and Mama will give you CANDY! Jellybeans! magic! WEE!
and he fell for it. Of course, there has been much kvetching over the potty-
I no like the potty! I done, I done now, get off now!!! (plop) GIMMIE JEDDYBEANS!
This is our dance, twice a day if I am lucky but then yesterday, oh yesterday, my sweet son developed a devilish plot.
Boden required my out of room assistance so I left Sir Levi lounging on his tiny throne with a front row view of Handy Manny. A few minutes later I returned to the room and Levi calls to me
Come ina look Mama I poop-ed!
I go over, glance in and sure enough, my boy had dropped a BOMB. I lifted him up grabbed some wipies and nearly fainted. His poop looked shiny.. way shiny, like coated in blood shiny.
Panicking, I wiped his bum expecting blood but nothing- nothing AT ALL. I bent in for a closer examination of yon bloody turd and realized it had wheels… and flames.. and was most definitely NOT poop
In the 3 minutes I was gone from the room, the boy got up, went into the playroom and sought out a toy that resembled poop. He then returned to the pot and artfully arranged it in a poop-like manner.
The particular car he chose was put away, he had to DIG for it. My son at 2 is already trying to shill me and he’s good enough, that I nearly fell for it.
I’m so screwed.
LOL!!! Now you better hope he doesn’t get ahold of any Baby Ruth candy bars to float in there!!
OH No… First the little one teaches himself to whistle and now his big brother is taking his first steps of deception…. And if I remember Tessa hmmm wrote how much she thought of you that day during homework… Aren’t they suppose to be older when they rebel? What is in that Florida water down there?!!!
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fidget Reply:
April 15th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Mira was the uhh unruly writer. Tessa is just ALWAYS a handful
Is that tinkle that the car is swimming in? And then you put the car on your table to take a picture? Ewwwwwww! Can you tell I’m a germaphobe? I would have on rubber gloves and the car would be in the trash. Yick.
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fidget Reply:
April 15th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
it was well disinfected before it got anywhere near my desk!
THAT? Was AWESOME! And FUNNY! *AHEM*
You are SO totally screwed
You better watch out. I’d learn karate if I were you.
That is a thing of beauty! I am so laughing still. Simply fabulous! I needed a pick me up feel good story right now. Thanks.
You are aware you are doomed though…heehee.
Started watching Bunnytown on our portable dvd player for a car trip (I was testing it out) and I got sucked in by the mesmerizing bunnies and their gynormous ears. Thanks.
Turd Imposters!!!! That is classic. You have certainly got your hands full. Thanks for sharing that.
omg, I can’t stop laughing! But think of the great story you now have to tell all his friends when he is oh, 14 or so. And wait until he is 16 and WANTS A REAL CAR! You can torture him with this forever!
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Oh MY GOD!!!!!! I am laughing too hard right now. That’s genius.
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Everyday I am more and more convinced Levi and Peanut are soulmates. In fact, we may have to keep them apart because they might actually be related in some weird way and that would never end well. Cue ‘Dueling Banjos’…
…the potty issue here mirrors yours. It just doesn’t seem to warrant their effort. It’s almost as if they want to make diapers a fashion statement, like “yeah, I may be wearing a diaper, but have you SEEN Lil’Jon???”
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That is funnier than hell! You have one smart kid on your hands!! Em only gets a sucker IF she poops. So far, so good!
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That kid is BRILLIANT.
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I laughed so hard I snorted!
“Kvetching” might be my favorite word EVER.
That is hilarious and your boy is a GENUIS!
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