Most people would assume that my refusal to camp was part of some princess complex but for me, that is not the case. Yeah, so the ground isn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on and crapping behind a tree isn’t exactly the kind of vacation memory I want to cherish but these are things I can work around. What I can not work around is being murdered in my sleep.
Stop laughing.
No really, stop laughing.
Dudes, I am serious. Have you ever googled “murdered while camping?” It pretty much confirms all my fears.
When presented with the opportunity to separate myself from the faceless murderous masses using either a very thin sheet of nylon or a wall of wood/concrete/brick, I’m certainly not going to choose something that a hunting knife slices through like butter. This means that all tents, pop up campers, and yurts are a no go.
And lest you continue to just mock me, let us not forget the Girl Scout tragedy of ‘77- even the queens of camping are not immune.
Thus, until they start selling tents complete with an anti murderer force field, you’ll find me over in the cabins or a hotel room behind a bolted door, possibly with the dresser pushed in front of it.
Hmmm… never thought about that before. My beef with camping is that I have NO INTEREST in “roughing it” ever again. I love my bed, and I love my warm shower. Also, I hate bugs. With a flaming passion.
This is hysterical AND awesome.
I’ve often wondered/worried about being robbed while camping since it is, as you point out, such a weak spot in our personal safety zone, but have never considered other harm.
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“Thus, until they start selling tents complete with an anti murderer force field, you’ll find me over in the cabins or a hotel room behind a bolted door, possibly with the dresser pushed in front of it.”
You have issues lady! And dammit it all to hell, now I will now be afraid of being murdered while camping.
Not that I WOULD go camping…
Just adding this to my very long list of fears.
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I hear you. One of my mom’s co-workers was murdered while camping alone several years ago in a national park. He’d taken a pistol for protection and that’s what he was shot with after being robbed.
Our last tent-camping extravaganza ended with a freak downpour, a flooded tent, and a concession from the hub that there will be no more tent camping. Which is fine with me. With all the gear you have to pack and haul to go camping, why not just move–preferably into a nice rental condo along a stretch of beach?
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fidget Reply:
June 20th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
further confirmation!!! And apparently i am not the only one who fears this b/c over the last 2 days ive gotten about 20 hits on people googling things like the odds of being murdered while camping
I don’t like camping because of the dirtiness and what you have to do when you have to use the bathroom. I never thought about YOUR reason for not going…thanks…now just one more thing to worry about next time I go (if ever again). LOL!
Seriously, it can be scary, and it is something to think about. Just need to be careful and prepared.
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Do you remember the movie Sleepaway Camp 2??? Where the counselor’s head ends up in the hole in the outhouse?
If so, sorry for the reminder.
fidget Reply:
June 20th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
i so don’t do scary movies. I once saw a movie about a dad who worked in a morgue and the whole family ate mystery meat he brought home from work and there were legs hanging in the basement. oh man it scarred me for LIFE
It is funny that you should mention this.
I have LOVED, LOVED, LOVED to camp for pretty much my whole entire life. I’m outdoorsy that way. At some point in my mid-twenties I decided that the quality of my experience was lessoned by sleepingbags, so I began camping with a king sized airmattress that with the exception of a dust ruffel, I’d make up exactly like the bed I slept on at home.
Before we had kids, some of our best, most fun, greatest, spontaneous trips were camping adventures.
…but since starting our family five years ago… we haven’t been camping one time. Now that our kids are almost four and five years old… I feel like it’s a good time to start again.
And then I thought about being murdered. For the very first time I considered all the violent crimes that must happen when people sleep at camp sites and it really scared me.
Im going to go google it now.
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I was totally ready to go camping this summer.
Thanks for the anxiety attack over THAT now too.
But to be honest, a few nights ago we slept out in the back yard, in the camper, and I was up most of the night worrying that one of the weird neighbors from down the street might come find us in the middle of the night. Thanks to google and some great map that tells you what law breakers live in your neighborhood.
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This is the same reason why I’ve never wanted to go camping, too! I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s also the same reason why I refuse to live in the country. I have no desire to be isolated. I’ve read In Cold Blood, I’m not stupid. If you live on a rural farm or in some isolated woods, you are asking to be axed. Sure the inner city is dangerous, but at least there, someone can hear your screams! (Maybe not do anything about them, but at least hear them.)
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I was afraid of BEARS or something ghastly creature killing me in my sleep while camping. I hadn’t even considered actual people. Reason #26 why I will probably never go camping.
I’m glad I’m not only one that feels this way. Also, I’ll never move out in the country cause if a murderer comes to my house I want my neighbors close enough to hear me screaming!
If you fear camping in a tent but enjoy camping, why not buy a small travel trailer. We got ours used for less than $3000 last fall. Have a dead bolt installed and avoid isolated areas. Stick to state parks and private campgrounds. I too would fear to spend the night in a tent or pop-up camper.
funny you bring this up. My husband, myself and our 2 kids (ages 1 and 3) were planning to camp in Maine this past weekend. But UNFORTUNATELY (she says sarcastically) the 1 yr old got a fever and we had to stay home. So, my husband set up the tent in the backyard for my 3yr old to sleep in. Only, it turned out that as “raccoons don’t sleep at night, Mommy. They’re nocturnal. Do you know what that means? They could get me out here,” after 30 minutes of roughing it, he ended up sleeping in his bedroom. We’re trying again this coming weekend. Maybe I’ll try the murder approach to weasel out of it this time.