It’s here! The inevitable ‘welcome back to school’ plague. This past weekend I told you I was going to try out tie dying, which I did

But, I didn’t get to finish. Instead I started sniffling… and then sneezing a bit… DAMN ALLERGIES I thought. HA! W . R . O . N . G . because shortly there after I felt like a mac truck ran me over , backed up, and then parked on top of me. Long story short, I sound like an emphysema ridden drag queen and still have some more (tie) dying to do. It’s ridiculously fun and I may become addicted. I started looking at instructions on how to Batik, which got me thinking about how I could batik a bed set instead of endlessly searching for one to match my bedroom. Alas, for now I can only dream as this plague is kicking my ass.

Part of being down with the mucus hoarking, snot snorting, dizzy spell inducing plague is abandoning the most basic of motherly duties as a form of self preservation. Last Sunday I hit the poptart motherload and thought I was set for the year

12 boxes of free poptarts and I can’t eat any? Well, hells bells, that may even last 2 years right? Unless mom gets sick. Pouring cereal into a bowl makes my head hurt, so the kids have powered through 2 boxes already. Now I’m eyeballing our 4 huge boxes of granola bars that were BOGO (and I had coupons!) and wondering how long until that supply starts to dwindle too. It’s between me getting up, focusing my eyes and slicing up fruit or moaning from my sick bed for the kids to grab granola or yogos. The sick bed is winning for now. Of course when my kids are buzzing around the room at 345 miles an hour and twitching from red dye # eleventy eight two, I know I’ll regret it but for now Viva La Yogos! Viva La Poptarts! Viva La get it your darn self!

**This post has been brought to you by my crafty streak, Target (where i was able to procure 12 boxes of poptarts for free) and The parent bloggers network as an entry for a contest sponsored by Brothers-All-Natural.

My last post may have hit a few gag reflexes so allow me to offer a small and tasty apology

Gluten free lunch box brownies!

1 c canola oil
1 1/2 c white sugar
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 c white rice flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon baking powder

You’ll need (2) 12 cup muffin tins and paper liners.

Preheat your oven to 350. Drop liners into tins and lightly spray with Pam or other spray oil. In a mixing bowl blend oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla. Blend in cocoa powder and then sprinkle salt and baking powder over the mixture and lightly mix. Add white rice flour, stirring until just blended. Divide mixture into the 24 cups (I overfilled a few of mine so I was only able to squeeze 21 out of my batch). I used a large soup / tablespoon sized spoon to divide mine up. One heaping spoon to each cup, remember these aren’t muffins so you don’t want to add too much! Bake 13-15 minutes. Allow to cool completely and then tuck these away in lunch boxes for happy children and husbands (and don’t forget to tuck a few into your mouth too). If you like a fudgier brownie, only use 2 eggs and bake more on the 13 minute side.

At the tail end of all the Fay mayhem, I started finding little piles in my house.

one might try jumping to the sensible conclusion that Rocket

was responsible. And, if I said Ney it twasn’t that furry little bastard, a faithful reader might crack a dirt monster joke, which would make me snicker with glee and then run over to my window so I can peer out across the expense of my backyard and ponder the existence of said dirt monster with more then just a tad bit of apprehension.

And, if I showed you this photo of my nephew who seemed to delight in these mystery piles,

you might start to gag a bit and perhaps one or two of the more delicate and/or pregnant readers might hurl deeply from your toes, for which I sincerely apologize because really he’s not actually eating the poop. i mean, yeah it’s disgusting that he’s got that warm pile nestled in his hand and part of it precariously close to his precious tween taste buds but we all know I like to push the envelope of disgusting, particularly with my desserts. There was the infamous cat crap cake of ‘05

and now the rainy day peanut butter pile cookies

We perverted the recipe I used for my BOGO cookies. Yes, cookies taste great but it’s hard to keep a manchild enthusiastic about baking when he’s dolloping dainty drops of jam into cookies - that is sooooo no cool. Where are the ninja swords or fire? Yep, none to be found so you do the next best thing - you talk poop. What 11 yr old isn’t interested in scatology?

This was boy nephew’s favorite picture of the process

He felt that it had a rather nice emotional quality to it.

So I had this plan to write all about lunch boxes. You know talk about how much I want one of these and how I found these totally cool and squeal-worthy ones. And OMG! How perfect would it be if I could take the guts of the one and stuff it into the sweetly customized body of the other. Then there was the topic of mini salt shakers or mini spice containers and dip cups

but no, I can’t even begin to focus on the topic at hand. It’s completely impossible. Why? You may ask. Well, I will tell you. It’s all this damn cuteness.

I can’t stop staring. I think it’s all part of his master plan. What exactly is he planning? I’m not sure but look

He’s most certainly plotting something.

School starts back up in a week *chorus of heavenly angels singing* and while I have enjoyed my summer with my girls, I am ready for them to be back in the classroom. Last spring I really dropped the ball with lunch. The pregnancy started wearing on me and lunch became this horrible burden to plan for, let alone actually put together. Mira started buying lunch and what began as a one day a week break for me, turned into a 4 out of 5 days a week free for all. I think that kid had more preservatives in that 3 month span then she’d consumed in her entire 6 years. BAD MOMMY.

In an effort to not suck so hardcore, I sat down and brain stormed with the girls about what they would like to see in their lunch boxes. Mira is surprisingly adventurous while Tessa would love to eat the same thing. every. single. blessed. day. Here’s our lunch box idea list so far

Main Entrees:

Crustless mini quiches
Celery with crunchy peanut butter
Celery with cream cheese
Hard boiled eggs
Peanut butter sandwiches (paired with jelly or honey or banana)
Cream cheese and jelly sandwiches
Fruit Salad
Bean burritos
Cheese and turkey pepperoni stacks
Mini pancakes with maple syrup for dipping
Mini zucchini corn muffins
Mini meatloaf cups
Bean Burgers
Onigiri
Hummus sandwiches
Fried Rice
Turkey sandwich wraps
Granola and fruit with yogurt
Sliced salted avocado and cheese
Various soups in the winter months
Salad with dressing

Sides:

Fruit: grapes, peaches, strawberries, blueberries, clementines, apples, raspberries, cherries, bananas, melon, nectarines, dried cranberries, golden raisins

Veggies: salted sliced cucumber, carrots with ranch, celery sticks and if your kids are less picky the mine you can do grape tomatoes, bell pepper slices, sliced mushrooms

Treats: pudding, jello, cookies, brownies, marshmallow treats, mini muffins, mini cupcakes, sugared pecans, puppy chow, banana bread, zucchini bread

Other: nuts (cashews, almonds, pecans), yogurt, pickles, granola bars, fruit leather or fruit snacks, chips

Tomorrow I’m going to talk lunch carrying receptacles. I think I may be getting swept up into the bento / laptop lunch phenomenon.

What are your kid’s lunch boxes going to be filled with?

Around these parts we have a grocery store that is known for it’s killer BOGOs (buy one get one free). I love to take advantage of these sales for hoarding purposes, especially to hoard non perishables and household items. Last week they had a BOGO on peanut butter AND a BOGO on jam- what a heavenly match. Of course without gluten free bread, I can’t make much use of these two things…. or can I? *insert image of me with the Dr Evil pinky finger next to my lip (and remember I have bangs now)*

I present my perfectly delicious, fabulously evil BOGO cookies

mm they look so good I think I need another angle of tastiness

I cheated in my TED diet with these puppies (wasn’t the best idea as the jam made Bo screamy but let me tell you, it was entirely worth it)

The base recipe was one I used “back in the day” and completely forgot about. Gluten Free Girl reminded me of their existence and they’ve been a regular in the rotation ever since.

The original recipe reads like this

1 c creamy peanut butter
1 c white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 egg

but due to the numerous holes in my brain (I’m fairly certain that each of my babies have found a way to suck my brain out through the umbilical cord), this is what I did

1 c creamy peanut butter
1 c white sugar
1/2 teaspoon Tablespoon baking powder
1 egg

A serendipitous error as the texture was perfect for my plans.

Preheat your oven to 350. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. In a medium bowl mix all ingredients by hand (trust me, this is not kitchen aid mixer time. If you do that, you’ll be trying to pick the batter off your mixer for the next 2 years). Scoop up approximately 1 heaping teaspoon of batter and roll it into a ball. Place on cookie sheet. repeat until sheet is full. I was able to cook 4 rows of 3 on mine. pop into the oven for about 10 -12 minutes depending on your desired crunchiness level. When time is up, pull em out and allow to cool on the cookie sheet for a minute or so. Then using your thumb, make a divet (divit? my spellchecker wants to make it divest..) in the center of each cookie. Let the cookies set on the sheet another 3-5 minutes. Then grab up that BOGO jam. I blopped a big ole scoop out into a bowl and mixed it till it was less jar shaped and more puddle of mush. I chose to use blackberry jam but you could do anything from apple to raspberry to booger. I filled each cookie crater with jam and let them finish cooling. Just repeat the process until you get friggin tired of dealing with the oven. Once bored and distracted, roll tablespoon size balls of dough and bake them a little longer. You can give these the jam treatment too or just leave them as it. Next you politely offer cookies to your family and or friends and while they are eating the few crumbs you offered to them, you hoard the rest of the cookies for your later enjoyment. I doubled the recipe so there was much hoarding and secret snacking. MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA

It’s hot as the hell fires and yet I find myself stuck in a snow capped state of mind. Pot roasting, oven broiling, hearty, hefty, heavy hibernation type foods. HELP! What are your favorite summer nummies? I’m looking for inspiration.

The plague of allergy season has descended upon my household with a sniffle, hack and sneeze. My voice packed up for vacation and my sinuses are packed too- with snot. We’ve all been grody, though I have fallen victim to the brunt of this pollen pollution. I’ve turned into a genuine mouth breather. I’m tired of feeling crappy and need some comforting suggestions.

Tonight I’m going to make chicken soup, that should sooth the raspy throat and open up the goo encrusted sinuses but I need more comfort food suggestions. Normally I would be busily creating in the kitchen but over the last few days Ive swallowed a couple gallons of snot, leaving me unable to ponder the finer points of comfort food. The baby has made it clear by the overwhelming dizziness that I need more nutrients then your average phlegm ball provides.

Any suggestions for comfort foods to heal the body and balm the soul? Nothing too milky though, I need to keep the phlegm production to a minimum.

This gluten free cake recipe with a box of raspberry jello tossed in and vanilla cream cheese frosting.

and for you gluten free cookie covetters

and you can find this delicious recipe HERE.

I’ve lost interest in food. Me! Me, who eats and eats and eats has completely lost the want to eat. I figure fire raining from the sky can’t be too far behind.