If reading about S-E-X makes you uncomfortable just enjoy this lovely picture. Spring keeps sneaking in for a day here and there; this morning I took advantage of it.

There is an epidemic going on around me. Left and right families are falling apart. Some just had a baby, others are a few years and [...]]]>

If reading about S-E-X makes you uncomfortable just enjoy this lovely picture. Spring keeps sneaking in for a day here and there; this morning I took advantage of it.

There is an epidemic going on around me. Left and right families are falling apart. Some just had a baby, others are a few years and a few kids in. One thing they all seem to have in common is a lack of intimacy in their marriages which lead to growing apart when things got tough, rather then riding it out together.

I know you are tired (we all are) and your husband / partner knows you are tired too but sex/intimacy is important. I propose that it is just important to a healthy relationship as breathing is to life. I know that sounds all DRAMA!!! but I think it’s true.

Looking back over the last 10 years of our relationship our toughest times have been our driest. One would think that things were dry because we were stressed so thus things were tough but in thinking, we have been through tougher times then those with less stress and more grace- the reason?? Sex.

Even in those really tough times- like when my husbands job cut him down to 20 hours a week, I was 8 months pregnant, his grandfather (whom he was very close to died) and we were not sure how we were going to pay our house note or even buy food, we managed to cling together and weather the storm with little disruption to our relationship because we were connecting on a regular basis.

I see a lot of you are having trouble transitioning with your partner into parenthood. There is fighting, sore feelings, loneliness and general discord going on and my best advice to you is that even though you are a mom (or dad) now you are also STILL YOU. And you deserve to feel sexy, you deserve to feel connected and so does your partner. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in the needs of the baby and to get to a place where you feel “touched out” where you are just D O N E and cant imagine anyone wanting anything else from you. HOWEVER, you can’t look at intimacy as one more chore, one more thing to drain you. I think a lot of women need to change their idea of intimacy. I think that it is far more essential then mopping the floor (and a heck of a lot more fun too).

It’s a rare person who can tell me that they don’t have time for it and actually be right. I HAVE 5 KIDS! Last year when I only had 4, I was also working. One of my kids is special needs, Bo is like 6 kids all slammed into one mischievous whirling dervish and let’s not forgot that Saffi has been colicky. But I make time.

I make time because Ive noticed when it’s been more then 4 days, we start picking on each other. If it gets to 5 or 6 days, I find myself looking for things to be mad at him about and if I can’t find an obvious one, sometimes I even make one up! I make time because my husband is more willing to help out around the house, he’s happier, and he thinks about me more. I make time because when he’s happier, I’m happier and thus our kids are happier.

I make more time because over the years I’ve found that kissing, groping, sex, dirty talk, oral sex, etc have made my life more enjoyable. I love feeling like my husband desires me (even though I have a stomach flap, thunder thighs, varicose veins, saggy boobs, blah blah blah). I love that he calls me in the middle of the day to tell me he had fun the night before and can’t stop thinking about me. I love that he grabs my butt when passing by or whispers something naughty in my ear. I love that this all makes me feel like more then just the local dairy farm / dumpy house frou.

Now the making time part, how?

It doesn’t take that much time, no really. It honestly doesn’t have to be an epic house rocking, mind blowing, earth shattering experience every.single.time. I cook dinner every night but not 7 courses- sometimes you just need to eat *wink*

10 minutes

Now I’m not talking about having to turn your partner into a minute man but rather recognizing that even 10 minutes of fun can relieve stress and give you a chance to reconnect. That’s it, it’s all you need. It’s less time then most meals take to prepare and losing those 10 minutes of sleep is not going to break your day (but it just might make it).

You can find 10 minutes while the baby naps, or just as you climb into bed. You can hop on your hubs when the alarm goes off- just hit the snooze button and enjoy.

If you find yourself thinking, ugh I have to go have sex think instead WOOHOO! It’s time to go jump my hubs! If you think gah this is just one more bloody thing for me to do, instead think SCREW THE LAUNDRY, I’m gonna go screw my husband! Laundry will wait, the floor can be dirty for 10 more minutes. Facebook, Twitter, your blog, your fans, your friends can all wait for 10 more minutes, your relationship is worth it.

And if you read all this and still think I’m just an oversexed nutter, then you’ll really think I’m crazy now. I’m challenging you all to spend at least 10 minutes a day on intimacy and pleasure- every.single.day. for the next 2 weeks. In those 10 minutes you cant think about what else you should or could be doing. Force your mind to go blank or repeat a phrase in your mind about what you are doing to force your mind to blank out those other things

“im having sex, im having sex, i’m having sex” or “**** my **** feels good” you get the idea

10 minute quickies, hand jobs, oral, making out, groping, rubbing are all acceptable. If you and your partner are apart, trying spending 10 minutes a day giving yourself a quicky, fantasizing, or sexting your partner

every day for the next two weeks, AT LEAST 10 minutes a day

Ok, I’m climbing down off my soap box and back up onto my hubs.

Over the course of the last [...]]]> I’d like to sit here and write something clever about the sleep issues we’ve been having with Levi or how Boden has suddenly gone from no teeth to 5 sprouting at once but I find that lately my brain does not have much capacity for thinking beyond my stomach.

Over the course of the last week, I’ve baked and consumed 2 cakes. I’ve dreamed of donuts, made a huge pot of balsamic chicken at midnight, deep throated spoonfuls of chocolate trinity ice cream, hogged down handfuls of Haribo gummi bears and consumed so many Doritos that my arm pits now reek of Cool Ranch. I’m also pretty sure Chikfila now has an auto order button set up just for me.

and I totally need to make this again. MMMMMMMMMMMM Gluten free black forest gateau

Baby cardinals are living in our fence.

And while I’m all “awww they’re totally cute in an ugly baby bird way. Look kids! the miracle of nature,”

the Hubster pipes up, “Awww, they look like scrotums with eyes”

Well, it’s not another hernia. It looks like Mickey Mouse

I have a Mickey Mouse in my groin?

Here’s the head and there are the ears

Wait, this thing has a head?

No it looks like a head

Thank god, I was not ready to birth something with Mickey Ears

Apparently it’s a varicose [...]]]> Doctor, dear doctor what ails me so?

Well, it’s not another hernia. It looks like Mickey Mouse

I have a Mickey Mouse in my groin?

Here’s the head and there are the ears

Wait, this thing has a head?

No it looks like a head

Thank god, I was not ready to birth something with Mickey Ears

Apparently it’s a varicose vein. I’m turning 30 at the end of May. With the current rate I’m popping out new maladies, ya’ll should start saving up for my Hoveround now.